When Bravo TV’s reality series Work of Art: The Next Great Artist debuted in June, we wondered if it was a show with a future. All it took was one episode, though, and the proof was in the pudding (or, more accurately, in the paint): with its vast array of characters ranging from the boring-as-wallpaper Amanda, who was the first person eliminated, to Miles, the pretentious, OCD shoe-in for a winner, we were hooked. With things coming to a close tonight, we’re going to need a stiff cold one to make it through the nail-biting season finale (featuring celebrity guest judge David LaChapelle), wherein we’ll discover which of the remaining three contestants will win a solo show at the Brooklyn Museum. Raise a glass with us, then, and join in our Work of Art Season 1 Finale Drinking Game.
Take a sip…
…If Simone de Pury’s lone advice to the finalists is to “Be Bold! Be Brave! Be fearless!”
…if it turns out Miles still lives with his mother
…if Peregrine’s parents turn out to be Yippies
…for every touching scene between Abdi and his mother
Chug…
…if Miles’ final work requires a visit to Home Depot
…if Peregrine’s final work juxtaposes childhood innocence with adult vices (or something)
…if Abdi makes that crazy face like his cheek is going to explode
…if we’re reminded of the hardscrabble youth of our three final contestants and just how close they’ve come to achieving their dreams
…if the previous contestants return and are divvied into teams to assist the final three
Toss back a shot…
…if the previous contestants return and are divvied into teams to assist the final three and there are accusations of sabotage!
…every time Miles blinks sleepily while facing the camera
…for every stupid headpiece Peregrine wears
…if China Chow is dressed in something Lady Gaga rejected
…each time we’re reminded that the Brooklyn Museum is “world famous”
…if somehow Jaclyn’s naked body is worked into an art piece
…if Erik comes back and is pissed
Empty your glass…
…if Jaclyn tries to sleep with LaChapelle
…if a contestant, past or present (cough cough Erik), confuses LaChapelle with Dave Chapelle
…if Miles is “overwhelmed” and “just has to take a nap”
…if Abdi’s work ignores entirely his experience as an African-American male raised by a single mother
…if Peregrine wears her silver bunny suit and Jeff Koons shows up and says he once made a sculpture just like it
Finish your drink…
…if Miles doesn’t win
Cut off your ear…
…if Peregrine wins
Special thanks to Marley Magaziner and Judy Berman for their assistance.