Last week Flavorwire asked our San Francisco-based readers to tell us about your most hilarious, audacious, and/or embarrassing act of music fandom in exchange for some free tickets to Noise Pop 17, and boy did you deliver. After some intense internal campaigning and fierce debate, we’ve selected our three winners — Alex, Danielle, and Molly H. — who will receive the following awesome prizes, respectively:
First Prize: Kool Keith: Dr. Octagon vs. Dr. Dooom & Mike Relm
Second Prize: St. Vincent with Cryptacize, Rafter, That Ghost
Find their award-winning, totally endearing prose after the jump and let us know what you think of our picks in the comments; anyone who entered but didn’t win should note that there’s a free opening night party at Mezzanine tomorrow night worth checking out.
First Prize: Alex
Spilled Vodka and Petty Theft Involving a Semi-famous DJ
This past weekend my friends and I went to San Fran, just a little get-a-way for a twentieth birthday. We are done with the club and start walking back to our hotel, which ends up being more of a stumble. Belligerently and insanely drunk, my friend is wearing her dress as a tube top, another pint size friend is speaking to the concrete, and I, myself am spitting out unknown french words to passer-by’s. We just leave Union Square, and my friend spots some random guy peeing, and she shares a little anecdote about how she just got a 250 dollar ticket for “Urination in Public”(Long story…). Words, get to saying, and sayings get to jobs and locations, and we realize we are chatting with a semi-famous DJ. DJ DAN-OH. We exchange numbers, and plan to meet up later that night. I nearly piss myself at the thought.
Later that night we meet up at his place, let me tell you he is PASSED OUT, DONE for the night. My 95-pound friend ends up carrying his 150+ body to the couch so I can further embarrass myself. He is half asleep, half awake, and 100% undeniably drunk- as am I. During this incoherent conversation, I learn how he is playing as main DJ at Coachella, “uncle” to Uffie(The french rapper/singer from france), BFF to Pase Rock(Sort of like the rap/dj duo Spank Rock but minus one), co-producer and “brother” to Them Jeans, and has met M.I.A. + DIPLO. When I hear this news, I have a shit fit, confess my unwavering love for M.I.A. and must know each and every syllable she has spoken to him. I inadvertently spill vodka all over the hardwood flooring, step on his laptop, and give him a worse headache, all whilst explaining how I will write the best article in Rolling Stones Magazine for him(…once I get the job). Reminder-DJ DAN OH’s eyes are pretty much in the back of his head. He turns to speak to me, and winds up vomiting all over…jeans, shirt, face and all. I help him puke out the rest, like the god I’ve built him up to be.
In conclusion, I get his number, a FREE invite to Cinespace and LAX next time I’m in the Los Angeles city lines, and wind up taking an unreleased Them Jeans t-shirt…which wasn’t given. 😉 All of this self-humiliation due to my inherent love for music, and the industry which it belongs to.
Second Prize: Danielle
Notes on Stalking a Very Cute and Very Engaged Indie Rock TA
This is not a famous band, but a story of crazy fandom nonetheless that still makes me cringe…
In my final year of undergrad I had an amazing music theory TA whose name I can’t recall now, so we’ll call him Sam. Sam was in this fantastic indie band. He was HILARIOUS and cute and I fell deeply in infatuation with him. Sam was engaged and talked about his fiance often, but that didn’t stop me from basically becoming a stalker – staying after class for additional help, writing “Your band is awesome and I’m in love with you” on my mid year anonymous student evaluation, dragging my friends to concerts I knew he was attending and “running into him”, and of course, attending every concert with his band for a full year…I figured it was harmless and fun because he’d never know.
So when he passed out the evaluation forms at the end of the school year, he said “now, I know they tell you these are anonymous, but they’re not. I process them and I’ve been grading your assignments all year, and I know your handwriting. So I’ll know what you write.” He looks right at me as he says this and I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed.
But I do still occasionally listen to the album!
Third Prize: Molly H.
Two words: Milli Vanilli
In my homemade puff paint “Dance!” t-shirt, I fought my way to the front row of a Milli Vanilli concert in Santa Cruz. One might think you could spot lip synching from the front row, but I guess I was just too engrossed in Rob and Fab’s beautiful braids, piercing eyes and matching bike shorts.