Exclusive: Robert Galinsky — Realist or The Worst Man in Showbiz?

Reality TV School? Really? No, really? Yes friends, it has come to that. Robert Galinsky, the talented Svengali behind the Manhattan Monologue Slam, has started the first New York Reality TV School. You may ask why in hell would anyone want to go to school learn how to date Brett Michaels or eat bull testicles. Fair question. That’s why Flavorwire caught up with Rob and picked his evil noodle about it.

Flavorwire: OK, what were you thinking here man?

Robert Galinsky: The idea to open up the New York Reality TV School came to me when Jorge Bendersky reached out to me to train him for his appearance on [Animal Planet’s] Groomer Has It. After [Bendersky] returned from Hollywood a channel spokesperson and with national endorsements, I realized that other people could benefit from training, and this in turn might begin to change the face of reality TV.

FW: But Rob, it’s REALITY TV. Reality. Pronunciation: rē-ˈa-lə-tē Function: noun 1: the quality or state of being real.

RG: TV has never been less real than it is now. We’re training people to tap into their true raw selves, in order bring out the best and most powerful presence a contestant/cast member possibly can. You have to know yourself and be clear about your goals to survive within the coercive space of reality television.

FW: OK, we’ll bite. Who are these people taking your course?

RG: It’s for those who have a skill, talent or interesting career(s). They can leverage a TV appearance to their benefit. There are those who come in because they think they are wild and will do anything and hope a career can be made out of that. Most of the time those types are delusional. It’s the sad side of what I call Facebook Heroes and MySpace Stars. They strive for a moment in the sun, and that moment is the crash and burn. Viewers love to see it, but soon forget — ’til they see it again on The Soup.  Sad really.

FW: So has anyone just been too messed up for you to consider training?

RG: I have had people come to me who are at the end of the line, desperate. I never think that there isn’t hope for any student because of the range of mad characters on reality TV. It lends itself to the bizarre and even pathetic. There is one student who continues to call and email me telling me his family belittles him everyday. His mother, father and siblings tell him he is worthless and he has decided that his “get even” is to be on reality TV.

FW: Have there ever been any choice moments in class you can speak on?

RG: One woman broke down crying because she finally got to admit that she had an abortion at a young age. She felt this disclosure was what would finally make her right for TV. We’ve had a student fly in from Oklahoma after failing to get on Survivor 17 times!

FW: Let’s hope the 18th is the charm. Do you think you’ll burn in hell for making a living at this?

RG: I believe that we are already in hell and I love stepping into the epicenter of the madness. Television has rarely been used as an intellectual pulpit, so to think that reality TV is the first and worst damaging content aired, is pretentious and repulsively snarky.

FW: It’s a well-known fact that the success of reality television is a sign of the decline of our civilization. Is your conscience OK with this?

RG: I’ve always seen people jumping around like idiots trying to get on TV. The audience behind Good Morning America lines up to be caught in the background. Watch a boxing match. Not a fight goes by where there isn’t someone sitting in the third row waving to the camera on their cell phone, talking to a viewer/friend saying “see me, see me?” The Apocalypse has been on its way for a long time and thanks to reality TV, everyone has a chance to participate and watch. I think that is beautiful.

FW: How do we sign up?

RG: We’re constantly interviewing new students. The tuition is $139.00 for a 3-hour seminar and $299.00 for the 5-week private training. We are now also offering a “Pink Slip Scholarship” for those who have been “laid off but are not laid up.”