We told you yesterday about Audrey Niffenegger, who just received a $5 million advance on her second novel. OK, more like we guffawed and let you watch. But what we felt then was nothing — NOTHING — compared to the nausea mixed with the STFU madness we felt when stumbled across this news thanks to our bookish pals at GalleyCat:
“Captain Chesley Sullenberger scored a $3.2 million two-book deal with HarperCollins’ William Morrow imprint. He will write a memoir that climaxes with his miraculous airplane landing and a book of ‘inspirational poems.'”
Now, we mean no offense to Captain Sully. Like many Southern expats, we’ve taken that flight from LGA to CTL more times than we can count on ten hands, which means that when he managed to emergency land without killing anyone on board, he was also vicariously saving us. Or something. So we’ll grant him the heroic memoir. But the idea that this pilot is now an inspirational poet — a budding John Ashbery newly unleashed thanks to a near death experience/public act of bravery? That’s bonkers.
But what’s done is done, so on to more important topics: Do you think it will top Ryan Adams’ book?