1. Today in real headlines that read like Onion headlines, Shia LaBeouf is making a documentary about Marilyn Manson. In an interview on Live with Regis and Kelly, LaBeouf he described their meeting: “He lives in West Hollywood above a liquor store. There’s no lights in the room. And there’s sort of these big metal doors and he opens the door and he’s in a big pink kimono. It’s sort of like a lair. No lights, so you have to use your cellphone to guide you around.” [via NME]
2. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, most recently known for starring as Henry VIII in The Tudors, was hospitalized this week in what may have been a suicide attempt. The actor is thought to have taken alcohol and pills. After he refused treatment, paramedics called in the police to take him to the hospital. [via Vulture]
3. Actor and anti-child sex slavery activist Ashton Kutcher has an official start date for Two and a Half Men: August 1. The new season will debut September 19 — and hopefully won’t be terrible enough to ruin Kelso for us forever. [via TV Squad]
4. Francis Ford Coppola has named his new, partially 3D, supernatural thriller Twixt and will debut portions of the film at Comic-Con on July 23. Dan Deacon, who created the score, will be on hand “to help demonstrate the viewing experience,” which we assume/hope means he’ll be performing the music live. [via Deadline]
5. The final episode of Glenn Beck‘s Fox News show aired last night, and critics didn’t exactly throw him a going-away party. David Zurawik at the Baltimore Sun pretty much spoke for everyone in describing Beck’s performance as “quiet, banal and kind of pathetic.” [via The Hollywood Reporter]
Bonus link: Watch Beyoncé surprise some young fans with a dance party at a Harlem Target