Sure, Eminem is a homophobe, a bigot, a violent lyricist, and an immature asshole. But, is he actually insane? In the wake of his new album many are saying that he’s finally gone over the edge. Personally, I’ve always thought of him as a jockish, 13-year-old bully who just can’t stop lobbing butt-obsessed insults. It’s true, songs like “Insane” and “Bagpipes from Baghdad” do court genuinely evil imagery, but is the dude actually a danger? For the benefit of the enraged, we’ve prepared a series of NSFW (or really, anywhere else) lyrical comparisons between Eminem and prominent underground MC Necro. We don’t endorse either (they’re both despicable), but it’s pretty easy to tell who is an attention-starved instigator and who is dangerously, dangerously insane.
On Surgery and Revenge
Eminem: Chainsaw in hand, bloodstain on my apron Soon as the blade spun, *vrrunn* they run away from Who want to play dungeon? No one is safe from In search of a brain surgeon, a great one Wait, it ain’t funny man, it’s urgent I need one! Two boxes of deter-gent and a paint gun And an emerr-gency squirt gun to spray A.1.
Necro: Err my castration hand is steady So bitch are you ready, to get your dick chopped off with a machete When it comes to inflicting pain I’m creative You’re gonna need a sedative, when you get tortured by this fucking native My animosity for a female never quits So I hang you to die – on two hooks through your fucking tits My knife cuts your cranium open to get to your brain for food (Tasty!) You get buried in dry mud when you suffocate in the high flood
On Humiliation and Sex
Eminem: Kiss my butt. Lick my wonder cheese from under my nuts. It disgusts me to see the game the way that it looks It’s a must I redeem my name n haters get murked (?). Bitches lust. Man they love me when I lay in the cut.
Necro: You got a tight sphincter, you need one in the pink and one in the stink, till liquid magentas Drippin’ outta your ass I’ll cum in your drink. piss in your face spit in your mouth fuck what you think. Shit on your blouse, then kick you outta my house naked and slut take it that’s what initiations about. An official occasion to go all out, fuck a bitch in the ass ’til her colon falls out.
On Sexual Assault
Eminem: I was born with a dick in my brain yeah fucked in the head, my stepfather said that I sucked in the bed, till one night he snuck in and said, “we’re going out back- I want my dick sucked in the shed”,
Necro: Woman need to be loved, injected with needles and drugs Subjected to torture and kidnapped, they need to succumb It’s proven, I feed em dog food, they prefer human Make ’em savagely beat each other bloody for my amusement It’s all fun and games, I keep ’em handcuffed in chains Starve ’em to cannibals, make ’em eat each others brains
On Drug Parties
Eminem: So you cant get pregnant if I bi-sexually wreck ya Hannibal Lecter into guy sex and I bet ya I tantalize you and in less then 5 seconds I get ya They say once bitten and twice shy Well I’m next to the guy With 9 ecstasy pills and 5 extra Boxes of ripped condoms in quantities why yes sir I took the rest of the lunesta pills from my dresser
Necro: Walk in your house And slaughtered the mound of your daughter or spouse Have them snorting an ounce ’til they are walking on the floor on all fours like a hounds Walk in the fuckin ladies room and penetrate her womb While the hookers sprays her perfume, demonstrate a broom
On Converting lesbians
Eminem: In the bed with two braindead lesbian vegetables, I bet you they become heterosexual, Nothing will stop me from molesting you, Tittyfucking you til your breastnipple Flesh, tickles my testicles, Is what they said to the two conjoined twins, How’s it going girlfriends, you need a boyfriend,
Necro: I see her munching on the rug, she’ll be eaten steadily The other bitch will be cumming readily, I’m a homophobe, pop two shells, Drop’em like dead meat
The desire to kill fulfilled, and I fulfilled those bitches After I killed ’em Like a cum dumpster, I pummeled her, She was foaming at the mouth, and at the lips So believe me when I say, ‘put your lips to this’
So, ummm, yeah, what say you dear readers? I assume you have thoughts….