first, rock on to stephen colbert!

here's my weird thing: i can make myself into a circle. yep. i can do a backbend and grab my ankles.

but that's not the end of it… i can also roll. it hurts a bit, but i'd do it for THE SOPRANOS!!!

i used to be the spokes-kid and model for a mall where i grew up. i still have some of the print ads; if you're really nice/give me some HBO dvds, maybe i'll scan them and share…

I can do this snaky, slithery tongue trick that I've never seen anyone else pull off. I used to think I could perhaps parlay this into moonlighting as a gigolo but I'm starting to realize that most people think it's just creepy and not sexy. I like it.

I'm a douchebag day trader who follows every spectator sport religiously, yells "Woo!" in da clubs, and drives a fast car. Basically, I'm the epitome of awesome male awesomeness. Therefore, my secret talent is that, during sexual escapades, my signature move is going limp inside of that lucky gal. There's nothing more erotic than harrowing disappointment.

Well Mark, I too thought I was the only human able to do a snake-like thing with my tongue. Simply described; if held in the right position, my tongue vibrates in a snake-like way. I used to show this to friends until puberty was hit and they started seeing it as having another sinful use. That is my hidden talent, but it seems less special now knowing my once unique talent is shared, and Mark beat me to the punch anyway. Dammit.

I am an astral projectionist.

I work in an office. I could care less about baseball. I can hardly do a somersault. But for one mixed-up teenage summer, I was Casey the Bear, the mascot for my local AAA baseball team. I did it all–handed out pizzas, danced on the dugout, allowed players to "accidentally" bounce balls of my freakish, floppy head…I was even in a commercial where I danced the funky chicken while a crazed announcer barked ads for Country Karaoke Night.

The best part is that I thought I was doing it for a girl. Let's just say it didn't work and that I haven't done the funky chicken since…

i will need video to prove this talent exists. ASAP!

So I've never openly admitted this to anyone, but… I have premonitions in dreams. Even though they are of really insignificant moments, I clearly know I've had a dream about it before.

i can roll my stomach like a belly dancer

I write pithy comments.

I can do that too! Guess there are two of us. And yep, people get creeped out about and the girls don't get turned on by it.

My Secret, Hidden Talent is crossing and recrossing the gender boundary.
In the day, I'm a man, a slim and strong body, in black levis or a suit; I look cool, calm, collected. I fix things, I'm good with tools, smart, at ease in the city or the woods,
Then at night, I open like a rare flower – artful, haughty and beautiful, dangerous and desirable. My body is long, lean and sensuous. As an adventuress, I do what I shouldn't.
But only for the night, because this is – a hidden talent.

I've been a drummer since I was 14, but even before that I had one really weird hidden talent: I can drum with my teeth. Like, not just chattering away, but sixteenth and thirty-second notes, triplets and rolls. I do it by moving my lower jaw from side to side while bringing my upper and lower jaws together. I use front and back teeth to do it, depending on the needs of the "piece." No one but my wife knows about this, and she only found out by accident when leaning up against me once while I was doing it. She was a little startled to hear me playing along, no-hands, to the music on TV.

SO WHO WON????