No TV show says summer to us more than True Blood, its Southern Gothic atmosphere and pulpy pleasures providing the perfect complement to sweaty evenings spent drinking mint juleps at home after another exhausting day in the hot sun. But while we love the people — and supernatural creatures — of Bon Temps and want them to never, ever change, we’ve noticed over the years that Sookie, Bill, and co. have a tendency to annoy the crap out of us. So, in the spirit of good-natured complaining about a show that we actually adore, every week this season we’ll be shouting out the three characters who drove us craziest, and also anointing the episode’s single most campily awesome character. Find out who made us groan this time, when Sookie got up close and personal with pigs while Salome did what Salome so famously does best, below.
The Week’s Most Annoying Characters
1. Bud Dearborn and Sweetie Les Art: For heaven’s sake, these two. It turns out Bon Temps’ former sheriff was so horrified by the violent crimes he saw perpetrated by vampires and other “supes” that he’s gone full-on hate group. But he isn’t even the leader of the Obama mask-wearing troupe that killed Sam’s shifter friends and tried to make Hoyt kill Jessica. No, Bud is beholden to the formidable and terrifying Sweetie, his girlfriend and the KKK-inspired Dragon of their murderous band.
2. Bill: Seriously, Bill? All it takes is one really good blood trip and some time alone with Salome — who, admittedly, is famous for being persuasive in the bedroom — to turn you into a full-on holy roller for Lilith? Even though you’re still seeing Sookie while you’re in bed with her? The “What if God is a vampire?” stuff was enough to make us sigh, but betraying Eric was just reprehensible.
3. Russell and Reverend Steve: True Blood has given us some terrible couples, but this is ridiculous. We don’t like watching them flirt evilly with each other, and we don’t like seeing them take poor Emma right out of her grandma’s hands.
The Week’s Most Awesome Character
Sam: Look, he’s been on our shit list a few times this season, but Sam’s story line is finally relevant to what’s going on in the show at large, which means we’ve stopped leaving to refill our drink every time he and Luna are on the screen. But that’s not what wins him the awesome character honors in an episode where Pam told us, “There are two things I try to stay away from: humans who eat a lot of fish and politics,” and Arlene saved Terry’s life by stabbing Patrick. Sam proved his utter awesomeness by shifting into a pig, coming to Sookie and Hoyt’s rescue, and taking on the entire Obama-face hate group naked.