We’ve been squirmy with anticipation for Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk’s American Horror Story: Asylum ever since the announcement was made that season one star Jessica Lange would be reprising a role in the FX series.
This time around she’ll be playing the formidable nun, Sister Jude. Lange stars alongside returning alums Frances Conroy, Evan Peters, Zachary Quinto, Lily Rabe, and Sarah Paulson inside the mental institution, Briarcliff Manor. The now abandoned hospital was a former tuberculosis ward purchased by the Catholic Church in 1962. James Cromwell, Joseph Fiennes, Lizzie Brocheré, Chloë Sevigny, and Ian McShane are amongst the newcomers joining them. We can’t wait for more over-the-top scares, pervy encounters, and dysfunctional drama.
To add to the insanity, we’ve created our official American Horror Story: Asylum drinking game, complete with recommended cocktails. Grab a glass, and say a few Hail Marys before heading past the break to play along with us.
Take a drink whenever…
Someone utters, “What was that?”, “Did you hear that?”, “Did you see that?”, or quotes the bible.
Anyone mentions legendary serial killer, Bloody Face.
Some unlucky person gets committed to Briarcliff Manor.
There’s a flashback. (Take two drinks if someone dies or has sex.)
You covet reporter Lana Winters’ (Sarah Paulson) smart 1960’s wardrobe — before she gets locked up for pissing off a closeted lesbian.
Someone makes a blatant reference to a famous horror film.
Finish your drink if…
One of the guys pulls a Dylan McDermott and flashes a gratuitous naked ass shot.
Zachary Quinto breaks character as Dr. Oliver Thredson and gets bitchy and possessive. (We miss you, Chad!)
Jessica Lange’s Sister Jude makes someone cry.
Chloë Sevigny’s sex addicted Shelley enjoys Sister Jude’s punishment a little too much.
Someone has sex inside the “death chute” — the underground tunnel where Briarcliff’s dead patients were shuttled outside (all 46,000 of them).
Do a shot if…
Evan Peters’ Kit — who gets committed to the sanitarium for ranting about aliens — is abducted.
Someone is forced to wear Clockwork Orange-style headgear and gets eyeball tortured (metaphorically or literally).
James Cromwell’s Dr. Arden performs a lobotomy, or zips someone up in the creepy hydrobath (and likes it).
Sister Jude is a naughty nun and has lusty fantasies about Joseph Fiennes’ Monsignor Timothy O’Hara (or acts on them).
Bloody Face’s grotesque mask made from human flesh, hair, and teeth is revealed.
Finish the bottle if…
Maroon 5’s Adam Levine actually survives the first episode (as a mortal being).
Rubber Man and Bloody Face battle it out Freddy vs. Jason-style.
One of Briarcliff’s residents goes full-on Linda Blair and performs a creepy crab walk down a flight of stairs, or an exorcism is performed.
Lily Rabe’s meek and mild-mannered nun, Sister Mary Eunice, finally rebels against Sister Jude, and things get batsh*t insane.
Ian McShane channels his inner Al Swearengen and calls someone a c*cksucker.
2 parts Gin
1 part Cream
1 part Crème De Menthe, White
Fill a shaker with ice cubes. Add all ingredients. Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. [via Absolut Drinks]
Holy Hail Mary
Splash Tomato Juice
5 dashes Tabasco Sauce
1 1/4 oz. Pepper vodka
Mix all ingredients in a shaker with ice, and strain into shot glass.
2 oz. Soda water
1 oz. Jack Daniels
2 oz. Tequila
2 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Jagermeister
Shake with ice, and pour over ice in a large glass.
½ oz. Pineapple juice
½ oz. Amaretto almond liqueur
½ oz. Raspberry liqueur
¼ oz. Champagne
Serve in a shot glass.
1 oz. 151 proof rum
1 oz. Strega herbal liqueur
1 tbsp. Bailey’s Irish cream
1 tbsp. Strawberry liqueur
1 tsp. Sambuca
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Build over ice in a highball glass, and stir.
2 shots Aftershock Hot & Cool Cinnamon Schnapps
1 shot Passoã liqueur
Add Aftershock, then Passoa. Fill with orange juice and ice to taste. Serve in highball glass.
1/4 cup (2 oz.) Tomato juice
3 tbsp. (1 1/2 oz.) Vodka
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
3/4 tsp. Freshly grated horseradish
3 dashes Hot pepper sauce, such as tabasco
1 pinch Salt
1 dash Ground black pepper
1 cup Ice cubes
1/4 tsp. Fresh lemon juice
1 Stalk celery
1 Lemon wedge
Stir together tomato juice, vodka, worcestershire sauce, horseradish, hot sauce, salt, and pepper in highball glass. Fill glass with ice, pour mix into second glass — back and forth several times. Sprinkle with lemon juice, garnish with celery stalk and lemon wedge, and serve.