Flavorwire

If you’ve been reading Flavorwire for the past few years, then you already know that one of our favorite holiday traditions is doling out gifts to 100 boldfaced names in culture — it doesn’t matter whether they’re dead or alive; naughty or nice; highbrow, lowbrow, or somewhere in between. Click through to see who made the cut this year, and while you’re at it, find the perfect gift for the Amy Poehler, Philip Roth, Zooey Deschanel in your own life!

Abby Elliott

A reminder of her best recurring character on SNL, and a damn fine Christmas album to boot!

Amy Poehler

Because we love her. We really, really love her.

Anna Wintour

On the shortlist of things make the icy Vogue editrix crack a smile: this lovely street-fashion photographer.

Anderson Cooper

Hey, even fearless, globe-trotting journalists get an occasional flat tire.

Azealia Banks

A nautical gift for our favorite little mermaid.

Barack Obama

In his second term, we hope the President steals this page from Ben Franklin’s playbook.

Beyoncé

For rocking courtside at Brooklyn Nets games.

Bill Nye

Now the we’ve seen the real Mr. Wizard, there’s no debate about who we’re gifting this geeky mug to.

Carey Mulligan

A delightful deco necklace fit for our latest Daisy Buchanan!

Carly Rae Jepsen

Our Christmas wish: never to get “Call Me Maybe” stuck in our heads ever again.

Carrie Brownstein/Fred Armisen

Brunch in a box means no passing out while waiting in line at Fisherman’s Porch for six hours.

Chelsea Handler

This shocking eye mask should make those long flights between LA and New York a bit more entertaining.

Cheryl Strayed

A little reminder of her time on the Pacific Coast Trail.

Chris Brown

What’s better than giving Chris Brown an F U scarf? Giving him an IOU for one.

Chris Hardwick

It’s a robe that makes you look like a TARDIS. We think the Nerdist founder would be very pleased.

Claire Danes

It was either this adorable picnic blanket, or a box of tissues.

Clint Eastwood

So many pretty chairs to yell at.

Courtney Cox

We haven’t seen enough of Cougar Town to know whether or not Jules reads, but we definitely know she drinks.

Courtney Love

If she’s ever going to finish that memoir, it’s time to start taking notes.

Courtney Stodden

We know she’s no icon, but we couldn’t see this necklace and not think of the teen bride.

Dan Deacon

After what has been a very busy year for the Baltimore artist, we imagine that he might enjoy a little down time.

David Foster Wallace

Two words: Infinite Jest.

David Petraeus

Think of all the trouble the former CIA director could have avoided if he’d just used snail mail.

Donald Trump

No explanation needed.

Drew Barrymore

We all know Baby Olive is going to be the coolest.

Ed Norton

Every dedicated Khaki Scouts leader needs a good looking compass.

Elisabeth Moss

With Peggy striking it out on her own, we imagine Ms. Moss misses spending QT with her dreamy co-star.

Emily Dickinson

The perfect accessory for the most famous dash-user in history.

Ernest Hemingway

We didn’t count the toes.

Fiona Apple

Between her publicized arrest and the death of her beloved pooch, this well-loved lady had quite a rough year. Hopefully her 2013 is a lot less dramatic.

Flannery O’Connor

Apparently Flannery loved writing long letters to her pen pal Betty Hester almost as much as she loved peacocks.

The 47%

Because if we don’t laugh about it, then we’ll have to cry.

Guy Fieri

All the red peppers and garlic in the world won’t erase New York Times critic Pete Wells’ takedown of Guy’s new Times Square restaurant, but at least this will burn in a good way.

Hillary Clinton

According to this recent New York Times profile, our current Secretary of State never sleeps. Ever! Here’s hoping she opts for a 2016 run after spending the next year chilling out for a change.

Jack Nicholson

Let’s be honest: Shining Jack Nicholson is the best Jack Nicholson.

Jake Johnson

Maybe New Girl’s Nick Miller isn’t a bartender just because he likes three feet of bar between him and everyone he meets. Maybe he really enjoys making cocktails.

James Cameron

What do you get the crazy filmmaker who has already ventured to the deepest point in the ocean? A soothing cup of tea.

James Franco

Indeed.

Jason Segel/Michelle Williams

Adorable couples deserve equally adorable joint gifts.

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Jerry Seinfeld

If Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee web series gets a second season, this will come in very handy.

J.K. Rowling

Don’t worry J.K. Once upon at time, critics weren’t so fond of Jane Austen’s quaint social dramas either.

Joan Rivers

The perfect statement necklace for the grand dame of E!’s Fashion Police.

Joel McHale

Tinkletown will love this. Hopefully the Germans won’t show up before Big Cheddar gets there to back him up.

John Cleese

“It’s just a flesh wound.”

John Waters

It might not be quite as campy as he’d like, but we think the Pope of Trash would adore this hand-carved ode to his hometown.

Jonathan Franzen

We don’t know if he’s really the “World’s Most Annoying Bird-Watcher”, but he’s definitely the most famous.

Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez

Will these two even be together when this gift guide goes up? Who knows. What we do know is that they could learn a thing or two from their fictional predecessors.

Justin Vernon

We may have heard that this portable bonfire log is on Bon Iver’s rider.

Katy Perry

This is what we imagine Katy Perry’s entire house smells like — especially now that Russell Brand is gone.

Kelly Ripa

Because no one, not even Kelly Ripa, wakes up looking that perky without a little bit of help.

Kevin Smith

Paul Levitz’s 75 Years Of DC Comics: The Art Of Modern Myth-Making is being re-issued by Taschen as a five-volume edition, starting with this baby. Even Mr. Comic Book Men would be impressed.

Ke$ha

We’ve never met Ke$ha, but we can’t imagine her disagreeing with the sentiment above.

Kelly Osbourne

These statement earrings were fashioned out of tiny, vintage Yves St. Laurent plaques that never made it onto garments.

Kristen Wiig

Good lord we miss Dooneese, and her tiny, baby hands.

Lady Gaga

Memo to Mother Monster: Cake is meant to be sliced, not rolled around in.

Lana Del Rey

We like Lana Del Rey best when she’s flanked by giant tigers.

Lea Michele

Kurt might be struggling, but we all know that Rachel Berry is Tony bound.

Lena Dunham

At this point, we feel better acquainted with certain parts of Ms. Dunham’s anatomy than our own.

Leonardo DiCaprio

A gilded dictionary Gatsby would approve of, old sport.

Lil Wayne

Knowing Weezy, this balm will come in handy quite often in the year to come.

Lindsay Lohan

A tote bag never spoke truer words.

Louis C.K.

Because Louis C.K. cannot not eat donuts.

Mark Walberg

A scent meant to evoke “a memory of Boston in the ’80s” is a scent that we think Wahlberg would find irresistible.

Martha Stewart

Behind the perfectly iced cupcakes and clever design projects, we all know this mogul has a serious dark side.

Maya Angelou

Too on the nose?

Megan Mullally

Ah, to be married to a mustachioed god like Nick Offerman.

M.I.A.

What can we say? This is a woman who really loves polka dots.

Michael Bloomberg

If the Mayor of New York can take down super-sized sodas, certainly climate change doesn’t stand a chance.

Michelle Obama

A gift that combines two of the FLOTUS’ favorite things: physical activity and gardening.

Mindy Kaling

This cute tote — red on one side, black on the other — is meant to be flipped around based on how one’s love life is going.

Mitt Romney

Sorry, we couldn’t resist!

Nate Silver

When you correctly predict 50 out of 50 states, then you get to gloat about it.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

America’s favorite astrophysicist may never visit the stars, but he can stitch them.

Newt Gingrich

A more affordable alternative to a moon colony.

Nick Offerman

We’re actually not sure who would love this book more: Offerman, or his on-screen counterpart.

Nicki Minaj

Knowing Minaj, she’ll want one in every color — and wear them all at the same time.

Oprah

It’s harder to get in trouble for tweeting from the wrong device when said device is made of wood.

Paul Ryan

We don’t care what Ryan says now — once a Randian, always a Randian.

Paula Deen

Thanks to her new diet, this silk scarf is as close to bacon as Paula Deen’s gonna get, y’all.

Peter Jackson

For second breakfast!

Philip Roth

Not to be crass, but the recently retired author is going to have a lot of times on his, er, hands.

Quentin Tarantino

You have to be pretty badass to pull off holster socks. Somehow, we think the Django Unchained director will manage.

Rebecca Black

We already know which pair will be her favorite.

Rihanna

Shines bright, like a diamond.

Richard Branson

The only thing that Sir Branson won’t like about this glow-in-the-dark screeenprint is the fact that his name isn’t on yet.

Robert Kirkman

Thanks to The Walking Dead, the idea of a zombie apocalypse doesn’t seem that crazy anymore, does it?

Roseanne

If you saw Roseanne’s Nuts, then you know the comedian/Peace and Freedom Party presidential candidate has seriously mellowed out since moving to a macadamia nut farm in Hawaii.

Snookie

Now that she’s no longer pregnant with baby Lorenzo, you know it’s only a matter of time…

Stephen Colbert

What do you get the Tolkien geek who already owns a replica of Anduril, Aragorn’s sword? A gorgeous treasure map to hang on his wall.

Tavi

This will go over well, unless the precocious Rookie founder has already read it.

Ted Nugent

Remember this? The man is clearly nuts.

Tina Fey

Given Liz Lemon’s delightful choice of wedding dress, we think this geeky set of prints is entirely appropriate.

Tom Hanks

Just think: without Pixar, we’d never have gotten to hear Hanks say things like “There’s a snake in my boot!”

Tracy Morgan

Fun fact: Tracy Morgan has a shark tank installed in his basement.

Wes Anderson

The drool-inducing Penguin Drop Caps series features covers designed by Jessica Hische, whose gorgeous lettering you might recall from Moonrise Kingdom.

Woody Allen

You love New York, remember? Now come back and make a movie here!

Zooey Deschanel

The perfect quirky gift for TV’s most adorkable teacher.