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“You’re a Genius all the time” — Jack Kerouac

Now we see what was wrong with Kerouac.

“Don’t have children.” — Richard Ford

Oh, please.

“Stop reading fiction – it’s all lies anyway, and it doesn’t have anything to tell you that you don’t know already (assuming, that is, you’ve read a great deal of fiction in the past; if you haven’t you have no business whatsoever being a writer of fiction).” — Will Self

Again, we’re on board with the latter half of this sentiment, but advising a writer to stop reading? Maybe it works for some, but we can’t support that as blanket advice.

“Never use a long word where a short one will do.” – George Orwell

But what if a long word sounds better? Also, go read some Nabokov.

“Actually if a writer needs a dictionary he should not write. He should have read the dictionary at least three times from beginning to end and then have loaned it to someone who needs it. There are only certain words which are valid and similies (bring me my dictionary) are like defective ammunition (the lowest thing I can think of at this time).” — Ernest Hemingway

The most draconian of the bunch, and very silly.