The Absolute Geekiest ‘Game of Thrones’ Merchandise

If you’re one of those hardcore fans who has spent your time since the end of Season 2 of Game of Thrones in mourning, or perhaps in sheer denial, living life as though you’re in Westeros – if you enjoy swigging mead from a casket, and holding GoT-themed parties, etc. – then this is a post for you. Ahead of Sunday’s Season 3 premiere, we were inspired to source the geekiest Game of Thrones merch we could find on the market, from the dirt cheap to the (almost) offensively expensive. And don’t hasten to let us know in the comments if we’ve missed out on any Game of Thrones swag essentials!

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Game of Thrones-Inspired “My Sun and Stars & Moon of My Life” Pair of Hand Stamped Aluminium Rings, Etsy, $20.95

We dread to think how many marriages have begun thus. Still, there has to be at least one cheesy piece of memorabilia for couples as in love with Game of Thrones as they are with each other. Save the gummy ring, at just over $20, these might be the cheapest wedding rings ever.

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Game of Thrones Mature Refrigerated Magnet Set, Etsy, $12

The more literary fans of the show can turn their refrigerator into their own chilly Westeros with this fridge magnet set. You’ll find 425 words in the set, including ones like “siege,” “cripples,” and “Winterfell” among them – and that’s not including the curse words. Cheeky!

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Game of Thrones-Inspired Umbrella, Powell’s

Winter is coming (albeit in spring) – though that doesn’t mean you’ll want your hair getting wet. This umbrella, recently spotted at Portland book mecca Powell’s, comes with a truly geek-tastic sword-like handle. It should ward off the winter blues – and any potential enemies on the commute to work – while retaining all the excitement for the new season.

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Game of Thrones House Sigil Shot Glasses (Set of 12), HBO Store, $64.99 (reduced from $83.88)

For those who want to have their mead (or shot of vodka) and drink it, too, here’s a fitting way to bring in the new season. We foresee Game of Thrones drinking games in the near future.

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Dark Horse Deluxe Game of Thrones Coaster Set, Amazon, $10.99

For all the show’s bloodshed, even those who enjoy a clean apartment, can enjoy Game of Thrones. Here’s something to rest your mead on while you go tend to your horse/fight a baddie/hook up with someone.

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Wildfire Dragon Game of Thrones Necklace, Etsy, $10

Clearly, a lot of thought went into this product – a necklace with a glass vial containing “Wildfire,” with a dragon charm. Note: wearing this at airports is generally not advisable, unless you want to end up in a cubby being interrogated.

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Game of Thrones Stark Needlepoint Cross-Stitch Pattern, Etsy, $7

Because what better way to show your loyalty to House Stark than in needlepoint?

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Game of Thrones Direwolf Bookends, HBO Store, $79.99

For those who actually read the books, here are some bookends with which to display your A Song of Ice and Fire set in true Game of Thrones style. Just $79.99 for a pair!

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Hand-Crafted House Stark Sigil Direwolf Belt Buckle, Etsy, $60

This studded belt buckle might just be Game of Thrones‘s (unofficially branded) answer to Banana Republic’s Mad Men collection. And yes, it is the buckle alone that costs $60. If you want it attached to an attractively studded belt, like the one above, you’ll have to buy it separately. It also has a “hard, durable and scratch-resistant surface” should you require to fend off any evil in it.

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Game of Thrones Life Size Replica Iron Throne, HBO Store, $30,000

And finally, for the asses of all the super, mega-hardcore (not to mention fabulously wealthy) Game of Thrones fans, there’s this glorified sword seat that costs more than many people earn in a year – and that’s without the surcharge for shipping (though we suspect that, if you’ve got $30,000 kicking about, you’re probably not that fussed over paying an extra measly $1,800). Sure, this is quite possibly the most uncomfortable chair $30,000 could buy you, but we have to admit that it may also be the coolest. Hell, it looks like it could hold its own in MoMA’s design room. Watch this throne, people.

In preparation for the return of one of our favorite shows, we’ve declared it Game of Thrones week at Flavorwire. Click here to follow our coverage.