Mad Men hasn’t quite inspired the same level of character identification as Sex and the City (I’m a Miranda), but most viewers do have favorites within the sprawling ensemble cast. Are you a public playboy and secret striver, like our hero Don Draper? Or are you an ambitious young upstart swimming against the current, like Peggy? To help you find out, we compiled a handy quiz to figure out which Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce employee whose work habits most closely resemble your own. Even if you’re pretty sure who your ideal coworker is, this’ll help bring you up to speed with the key players at the world’s most darkly dramatic advertising agency.
What kind of office hours do you keep?
a) As few as possible, and helped along with plenty of liquid courage. It’s good to have your name on the door.
b) Erratic. You’re just as likely to ditch the office for an impromptu vacation as board yourself up for hours of brainstorming.
c) Standard. If someone’s as efficient and capable as you are, they could be in at nine and out at five or six every day of the week.
d) Extreme. Not only do you burn the midnight oil, you’ve slept in the office before. Multiple times.
What do you think of dating in the workplace?
a) Let’s put it this way: you’re ready to take clients to the nearest brothel when they ask you to “show them a good time.”
b) The office was your dating pool, not to mention marriage pool. You’re currently giving professionalism a try, although that might be because you’ve exhausted your options, not turned over a new leaf.
c) Doesn’t matter if you’re carrying on a years-long affair or just turning down an unwanted advance: discretion is key.
d) You had a pretty nasty experience early on, so now you’re all business, all the time. Plus you’re pretty committed to your significant other.
You’re having a personal crisis. How does that affect your work?
a) You don’t let much get to you, whether it’s your midlife crisis or your troubled marriage. It’s nothing a drink (or something stronger) can’t fix.
b) Generally superb at keeping your cool, you’re prone to taking your personal frustration out on your employees. All is eventually forgiven when you open up to them with a good old-fashioned ugly cry, though.
c) Coworkers better steer clear if you’re in a foul mood — they don’t want to get in the way of any projectiles.
d) Following the example of your boss/mentor, you keep drama strictly under wraps. No matter how crazy your personal life is, coworkers won’t hear a peep, though they’ll definitely speculate.
What do you find most satisfying about your job?
a) You don’t. You work because it’s what expected of you as a well-off, well-educated member of the upper crust. The perks are nice, though!
b) Work is both your calling and your way to the top. You’re not just a natural, you’ve given your job everything, and in return it’s given you about as much upward mobility as it’s possible to get.
c) It gives you purpose — your office needs you and you need it. You’ve tried to do without it in the past, but staying at home isn’t your style.
d) You’ve had to put up with your fair share of bullshit, but ultimately, what you do is way more exciting than sitting at a desk and making somebody else’s appointments all day.
What’s the most frustrating part of your job?
a) When it comes to the fun side of things, you’re all ears, but getting you to buckle down for serious business is like pulling teeth. And said poor work ethic is losing you respect among your more ambitious juniors.
b) In a talent-based industry, you’re starting to get worried your skills aren’t up to snuff. Other than that, you love work, although you were initially reluctant to commit to it.
c) Your employees aren’t nearly as competent as you are and often can’t work at your pace. Your bosses, on the other hand, are mostly great, but recently put you in an awful position that changed the way you think of them.
d) Your boss consistently refuses to appreciate how hard you work or how talented you are. Remember that time you pulled an all-nighter on your birthday? He doesn’t seem to.
Turn the page to score your quiz and find out which SCDP employee you are.
Mostly A’s: Roger Sterling. You’re the office’s resident silver fox and comic relief. No one’s running to you during a crisis, but you’re one of the top dogs and get most of the respect that entails. Plus, your hard-partying, happy-go-lucky ways often work to your professional advantage when networking with potential clients. You’re a blast to hang out with, and that often means good business.
Mostly B’s: Don Draper. To the outside observer, you’re Superman: you’re great at what you do, you have a gorgeous wife and three beautiful kids, and you never seem to break a sweat. Still, it’s not easy being at the top; you’re only as good as your last campaign, and the specter of your top-secret past still haunts you.
Mostly C’s: Joan Holloway Harris. Graceful, charming, and completely indispensable, you’re the backbone of your office and everyone knows it. You see right through your bosses and see to their every need. Your personal life may be less than perfect, but we’re confident you’ll handle single motherhood just fine.
Mostly D’s: Peggy Olson. You’re a trailblazer, and consistently underestimated for the amount of work you’ve put in to get to your current position. Luckily, you’ve always known a good opportunity when you see one and have moved on to a workplace where your talents are better appreciated.
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