Ten Things We Like: GOOP Edition

In the age of the overshare, Gwyneth Paltrow gets a lot of grief for her foray into lifestyle e-newsletters. She loves her slippery Jamie Oliver cookware, spills that Mario Batali’s son does a mean Elvis impression, and speaks fluent Spanish with an Iberian accent. Rebecca Dana’s experiment for The Daily Beast in living la vida Gwyneth involved following GOOP‘s tips for the good life, from detox to banana nut muffins, with a Golden Girl thrown in for measure. There is something, dare we say, magical about an A-lister’s personal tips, so we set out to define a few things we enjoy about the GOOPster.

1. “My dear friend Julia is a fantastic cook. She once made these meatballs and I immediately asked her if I could steal the recipe.”

She may namedrop, but she certainly gives credit where credit is due (especially where Mario Batali and Deepak Chopra are concerned). And Paltrow freely admits that she is one “lucky motherf***er.”

2. “The challenge of making super healthy food that doesn’t taste like it belongs in California in the 1970s.”

We’d also like to point out that even the High Priestess of GOOPdom doesn’t expect you to shop all green market and seasonal, she just advises that if you buy one organic item, make it the chicken. That’s reasonable, right? The most important thing, in the words of Ms. Paltrow: “Cook with love! Make it great!”

3. She looks endearingly awkward in that wannabe model pose.

4. She’s got frenemies. By all means understandable (we’ve questioned you in the past, missy), but a universal problem of being fabulous that we can also relate to. Besides, that chick is probably just jealous of her Gucci heels and Mulberry travel bag.

5. Gwyneth scratches the Ebay itch like we plebeians and then donates all proceeds to the Robin Hood Foundation. If only she could throw in meticulously sculpted gams with the purchase of a signature miniskirt.

6. “Gwyneth Paltrow is not a music expert but an avid listener and knows how to get down.”

A friendship with fellow Tribeca resident Jay-Z will have that effect on a girl. Humongous loft = dance party.

7. “I can do the whole rap at the end of The Revenge of the Nerds and all of Jeff Spicoli’s dialogue, but sadly, my expertise ends there.”

Well played, Paltrow, with your cult classic references and self-deprecating disavowal of highbrow film tastes.

8. “I need a little something, even 10 minutes of “The X Factor” or a forensic pathology documentary.”

Even movie stars get the winter doldrums, and lest you think Gwynnie’s drinking cognac and dipping into Rilke to chase away the January blues, no. She’s watching reality TV and gory Discovery Channel programs like the rest of us. When it comes to picking her literary faves, bonus points for the novel Sheltering Sky, too.

9. “I have experienced one too many gut bombs while my kids happily munch away on their themed pizza… Bring the mini-pack of colored pencils and order a real drink.”

Spoken like a true urban mommy. She’s also fairly perceptive when it comes to familial relationships (“children are like little radios picking up our frequency”), which hints that darling Apple and Moses don’t spend 90% of their time with a nanny.

10. The woman can debone a chicken like nobody’s business (skip to 1:28).

Bonus clip! Not yet mentioned on GOOP, but perhaps more relevant after last night’s VMA performance of Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind,” Paltrow’s “aggro” three-year-old is a tiny, sensitive thug: