The Gilligan’s Island Drug Runner Theory
It seemed like every hack comic in the 1980s had a bit about Gilligan’s Island and the incongruity between the contents (voluminous amounts of clothing and supplies) of the S.S. Minnow and its stated mission (“a three-hour tour”). And writer Adam-Troy Castro has more questions about that: “Since the snobbish Howell can presumably afford to buy his own yachts, why would he be interested in a ‘three-hour tour’ aboard a dinky little charter vessel owned by two ex-navy men? And why would he take along a briefcase filled with thousand dollar bills, when one of the perks associated with great wealth is unlimited credit?” Castro’s conclusion? “Howell chartered the Minnow to make a multi-million-dollar drug buy. He’d paid off Gilligan, and the Skipper too. He’d brought along the necessary cash. He even brought along an extensive wardrobe, just in case the coast guard showed up and he had to leave U.S. territory in a hurry.” He also brought along a mysterious “Professor” and his supply of Bunsen burners, and a coked-up Hollywood starlet. But they kept up their “cover stories” for the benefit of the one innocent bystander: Mary Ann, who Castro says was a Fed, keeping tabs on the whole operation.