Potatoes Aren’t Contraceptives: Links You Need to See

This is an oddly political day, and for that, I apologize. Much to the chagrin of lazy Americans everywhere — but mostly Republicans, heh — the unemployment rate is the lowest it has been since 2008. Only 6% of Americans are currently of “unemployed” status. Nearly 248,000 jobs were created last month, too. That’s a lot of jobs. Some would even say that’s close to a quarter-of-a-million jobs. Suddenly it seems like so much more! But then, who wants a “job” job, anyway, when you can spend a month-and-then-some writing while traveling the country on Amtrak?

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Unfortunately, employees of abortion clinics in Texas are losing their jobs, seeing as Texas has required that all abortion clinics abide by the building code imposed upon ambulatory surgical centers, which means acquiring expensive equipment and having hallways that are of such-and-such width. Let’s hope the women in Texas don’t resort to shoving potatoes in their vaginas in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies now that adoption is becoming less and less of an option.

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With this in mind, it’s surprising that it was in North Dakota — and not Texas — that a high school banned yoga pants because a female teacher said they made girls “look like prostitutes.” Not that that seems to be one of the main problems with high school, anyway. Rather, low standards, early start times, and sedentary students seem to be some of the biggest problems. Wait—so, girls wearing a certain type of clothing aren’t to blame for everything?

Not that blame is something that always needs to be placed. The blame game is awful, isn’t it? It is! But sometimes it’s necessary, as is the case with HIV. And, huh, what do you know? It seems the origins of HIV have finally been discovered. The origin seems to be 1920s-era Kinshasha, in what is now the Democratic Republic of Congo. The virus flourished, apparently, thanks to a “perfect storm of population growth, sex and railways allowed HIV to spread.” Scientists were able to determine its origins thanks to “mutation marks” in the genomes of HIV.

It’s all very confusing, and surely very complicated, but hey. In a world where we still don’t know what happened to a giant piece of metal and the 239 poor, lost souls who were aboard it, it’s nice to finally know where one of the deadliest viruses in modern history originated.

Oh god. It’s Friday, everybody! We shouldn’t be so heavy on Friday afternoon. We can’t go out like that. So here, go watch this beautiful bluegrass cover of “Anaconda.”

Have a good weekend, everyone, and beware of what you retweet.