Stephen Colbert Stars in a Gritty ‘Full House’ Noir Spinoff

Despite our own opinions of the show, yesterday it was announced that Netflix had ordered a second season of the woefully generic Fuller House. However, thanks to Stephen Colbert, the second season of Fuller House may be forgiven with the addition of an imagined second spinoff. This one is a cop procedural called Full House Nights.

Last night, John Stamos, Bob Saget, and Dave Coulier — the original stars of Full House, now unfortunately relegated to mere guest spots in Fuller House — stopped by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to talk a little bit about their involvement in the Netflix “nostalgic reboot.” During the chat, the three men discussed their ideas for a “more updated, gritty Full House reboot” where they would play the Full House Daddies: “adult roommate detectives who’ve seen a little bit too much.”

This imagined reboot promises “scum of the earth stuff, stuff people love, [like] drugs, sex, murder.” Colbert, who had forgotten that he was also in the show until he was reminded by Saget, played a clip from Full House Nights, which you can watch below.

Now that’s what I call a bedtime story! Unfortunately though, according to Stephen Colbert himself, Full House Nights has been cancelled. I guess we’ll have to settle for another 13 episodes of Fuller House next year.