Sign the Petition to Have Fetty Wap Perform “Trap Queen” at Nancy Reagan’s Funeral

This past weekend, former First Lady Nancy Reagan passed away at the age of 94. Much of the mainstream has already mourned her passing, but her funeral has yet to take place. There’s time, then, for everyone to sign a petition to have Fetty Wap perform “Trap Queen” at the ceremony. 

Hosted at Change.org, the petition is one of those oddities that exists thanks only to the outright surrealism of the Internet and the freedom it allows us. The copy that accompanies the petition’s headline is a thing of beauty, to be honest.

“She was married to the money and introduced America to the stove…

While her husband, Ronald Reagan, was linking up with Papi to flood the streets with narcotics, Nancy was on TV telling kids to ;Say No To Drugs.’ Her infamous ‘anti-drug’ phrase encouraged strict laws on drug possession that led to a school-to-prison pipeline we’re still dealing with now. Blacks and Latinos went to jail in droves for possessing drugs her husband gave them. It was an incredible sleight of hand that would make any wannabe Trap Queen hide in shame for her inability to be as diabolical as Nancy.”

As reported by The Guardian, this isn’t serious, of course, and makes allusions to conspiracy theories that Reagan’s involvement in anti-drug campaigns was motivated purely by the resulting imprisonment of a significant number of American minorities. Fetty Wap performing at Nancy Reagan’s funeral is something that will never happen, but god bless the folks who take the time to create things as hilarious as this petition.