The Definitive List of… Hilariously Bad Ticketmaster Settlement Shows, Ranked

Oh, you wanted tickets to that Darius Rucker show? It's like Christmas, then!

If you’ve spent any money on concert tickets over the last decade or so, chances are that you’re entitled to some free tickets from Ticketmaster, as part of a class action settlement decided earlier this week. (If you’re wondering whether you’re eligible, you can click here for more information.) Sadly, though, you can’t just get free tickets to anything — you have to choose from a list of shows, and surprise! Most of them are awful!

The full list thus far is here, and more than anything, it’s a fascinating insight into the existence of the sorts of tours and shows that sound like they’ve been created as some sort of satire of terrible music, but are apparently things that real live human beings are willing to part with actual American dollars to go and see. There is the occasional good show in there — Salt N Pepa! A solitary date on The Cure’s tour, in Charlotte, NC! — but they’re very much in the minority, and you can neither search the list nor filter it by state, so good luck finding them. Ticketmaster: comically evil to the last. But anyway, here, ranked from awful to hilariously awful, are the very worst of the worst shows that you can totally go and see for free!

Keith Urban — ripCORD World Tour 2016

Gwen Stefani: This Is What the Truth Feels Like Tour

Bush & Chevelle

The Kidz Bop Kids: Life Of The Party Tour

The Australian Pink Floyd Show

Counting Crows & Rob Thomas

Rob Zombie & Korn: Return Of The Dreads Tour 2016

Darius Rucker: The Good For A Good Time Tour

Hillsong United — Empires Tour

BOSTON: 40th Anniversary

Korn & Breaking Benjamin: Nocturnal Underground Tour

One Hell of a Night with Joe Walsh & Bad Company

Toby Keith Interstates & Tailgates Tour Presented by Ford F-Series

311 & Sublime with Rome with special guests

Disturbed & Breaking Benjamin With Alter Bridge & Saint Asonia

Blink 182

Barenaked Ladies: Last Summer on Earth 2016