Louis C.K. Is With Hillary: “I Would Take Her Over Anybody”

“If you vote for Hillary, you’re a grown-up. If you vote for Trump, you’re a sucker. If you don’t vote for anybody, you’re an asshole.”

When your correspondent was lucky enough to see Louis C.K. at Madison Square Garden back in September, I was surprised to note that he didn’t do any material, none whatsoever, about the upcoming election. He hinted at why in an appearance on Conan last night. “I’m a performer, so I’m splitting my audience in half,” he explained, but nonetheless gave a full-throated, and very funny, endorsement of Hillary Clinton. “It’s not a lesser of two evils – I think she’s great,” he proclaimed. “I would take her over anybody.”

Being Louie, and seeing the world through the lens of his singular comic voice, he had his own take on what would make her presidency historic: “It’s not about the first woman, it’s about the first mom.” She would follow, he went on, “240 years of fathers… and fathers are ok, I’m a father. A great father can give a kid 40% of his needs, tops. Any mother, just a shitty mother, a not-even-trying mother? 200%.”

As for Trump, C.K. seems less concerned with his policies or positions than that election cycle buzzword, temperament. “What’s more important in a president, then that you can shit all over him?” he asked, noting Trump’s inability to take criticism. “This guy, every time he’s criticized, everything stops, and he makes everybody pay. That’s not how it works!”

So come Tuesday, remember the Louis C.K. summary of your options: “If you vote for Hillary, you’re a grown-up. If you vote for Trump, you’re a sucker. If you don’t vote for anybody, you’re an asshole.”