Here’s Your New ‘Planet of the Apes’ Trailer

The recent cycle of Planet of the Apes movies is a monumentally rare case of a reboot/remake/whatever actually working, picking up the pieces of the series that Tim Burton moodily set ablaze with his comically incomprehensible 2001 entry and reassembling them into something emotionally intelligent and viscerally exciting. 2011’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 2014’s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes are smart, well-executed popcorn flicks that take an origin-story long view of the events in the original 1960s-1970s series, coupling their intellectual curiosity with state-of-the-art effects; they’re a classic case of movies that are probably better than they had to be to make money.

The next entry in the series, War for the Planet of the Apes, reassembles much of the team from Dawn: director Matt Reeves, screenwriter Mark Bomback, star Andy Serkis (and co-star Judy Greer, who’ll hopefully have a little bit more to do this time). Joining the cast this time around, in the vital “key human being” role previously filled by James Franco and Jason Clarke, is the always reliable Woody Harrelson (and the trailer gives us the sight so many of his other films have robbed us of: Woody Harrelson shaving his head). So it will probably be very good! What is not very good is the trailer. It’s not even that it’s terrible – just maddeningly generic, full of bang bang and boom boom and monkey screech, and some reallllllly dodgy voice-over by Mr. Harrelson.

“And if we lose… it will be…”
WAIT FOR IT, WAAAAAAIT FOR IT…
“A planet…”
YESSSS…
“…of apes!”
LIKE THE TITLE, YOU SEE!

Anyway, again, the movie’s probably fine, they have to dumb things down for trailers. And it’s not out until fucking July, so no use getting all worked up about it now anyway.