5. The Mummy (June 9)
IN A NUTSHELL: Long ago, Universal made a bunch of Mummy movies, and they were great. (This was back when movies were in black and white, and before they called them “content.”) Then, in 1999, they made a few more, and those were garbage. They even let Rob Cohen direct one! That pretty much put a fork in the franchise – until now, since Uni is not only determined to bring this thing back, but to make it the starting point for their own MCU-style Universal monster cinematic universe, and also to make it a Tom Cruise action movie, because why not. If this sounds like a giant clusterfuck to you, well, you’re not alone.
WOULD RATHER: Have Paul Ryan sit me down for a personalized, cover-to-cover reading aloud of Atlas Shrugged.