3. Cars 3 (June 16)
IN A NUTSHELL: The Cars movies are absolutely the worst fucking things Pixar’s ever made; there’s not even a discussion to be had here. They’re witness, soulless, forgettable dreck, and they’ve provided a steady stream of residual checks to Larry the Cable Guy. But they are the pet projects of Pixar’s head honcho John Lasseter – Cars and Cars 2 are his only two directorial credits of the 21st century thus far – and so they’re gonna keep making them whether we want them or not. But we don’t have to go!
WOULD RATHER: A few years back, one of our cats was having an issue with her bowel movements, so twice a day, for about two weeks, I would have to put on a rubber glove and gently apply an ointment to her anus. I’d rather have to do that again then sit through another Cars movie.