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Video of the Day: Snoop Dogg’s Ode to Sookie Stackhouse

Never underestimate the randomness of Snoop Dogg. Just a few days after we saw him raise an army of sinister gummi bears, he’s back with — are you sitting down? — a promotional music video for True Blood. It’s just about everything you’d expect: ridiculous references to Bill and Sam, lewd come-ons involving Tara, a gaggle of dancers dressed like Sookie, and the obligatory weed references. Watch the video and read our ten favorite quotes after the jump.

1. “I’m the dog that don’t bite. Woof, woof.”
2. “We’ll do it in the daytime. Bill won’t know a thing.”
3. “Say, Sookie. Take this Mary J cookie and roll with the Dogg. Vampires can’t hook me.”
4. “You outta Bon Temps. You need a bon pimp.”
5. “Try to read my mind, you might get wet.”
6. “Sam ain’t a man, he done turned into a bitch.”
7. “Bill ain’t for real, he drink Tru Blood. Snoop is the G; I smoke true bud.”
8. “I hit you with the glamor, I think you wanna suck… these nuts.”
9. “You know I get more [bleep] than your brother.”
10. “Bring your best friend, Tara. I got some real eggs for her to eat. And these eggs come with a whole lot of cheese and greens.”