Ted Williams’ Cryogenically Frozen Head Beaten with Monkey Wrench

The title sort of says it all, but for those of intrigued, disturbed or simply interested in finding out how in the hell this happened, here’s the recap: Larry Johnson, a former employee of Alcor Life Extension Foundation, not “Grandmama”, reports in his new book Frozen, that a technician at the facility repeatedly took home run shots at the famed slugger’s severed head with a monkey wrench. A monkey wrench for Christ’s sake! … Read More

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Megan Fox Meets SNL- 5 Throwback Characters She Should Take On

Saturday Night Live turns thirty five tomorrow night. Fortunately for the show, a 35th birthday doesn’t mean purchasing a Camaro and learning the difference between Medium Brown and Light-Medium Brown in the Just For Men catalog. Still young at heart, 30-something birthdays find us looking back on our younger, thinner years, fondly recalling nights spent with the Church Lady, Roseanne Roseannadanna, and the dude behind the counter at the Samurai Delicatessan. The season premiere also means Megan Fox, whose name makes our collective minds wander. What will she wear? How will she look? And is she any good at playing the Cowbell? Here are five classic SNL characters we think Megan Fox would do a good job… Read More

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Things That Will Happen Before Beatles Catalog Is on iTunes

With The Beatles: Rock Band and the band’s entire remastered catalog hitting retail shops today, it’s no wonder that we hear more rumors that EMI, the Fab Four’s floundering label, and Apple, ye proprietor of the country’s largest retail music shop, finally reached a deal to sell the Beatles catalog on iTunes. Sky News would have you believe it’s true, quoting Yoko Ono as their source. Of course, Sky News removed the link almost immediately after publishing, though not before a host of news services picked up on the story.… Read More

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Who Wants to Shell out a Thousand Bucks on Facebook Friends?

Ashamed you only have 200 Facebook friends? Worried the MySpace community won’t pay attention to your aging synth pop band? Can’t get @iamdiddy to reply to your tweets? While bots may be able to boost your friend count with other bots, Australia-based viral marketing company uSocial knows you’re looking for something a little more, you know, “real.”… Read More

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Films Birthed by Disney’s Acquisition of Marvel

While Disney would like to think the acquisition of Marvel Entertainment, home of Spider-Man, Iron Man, the X-Men, and many more Stan Lee creations, helps solve the $50 billion problem of providing entertainment to over-sugared, rambunctious young males, we see the purchase as the ultimate victory for cross-branded buddy films. In the spirit of the Disney-Marvel deal, here are our best pitches; we’re pretty sure this is exactly how Stan Lee pictured the future would be like when he drew his first comics in 1941.… Read More

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Steven Seagal’s Lawman Is Not a Joke

Reality TV jumped the shark long ago, and amidst word that the OctoMom is in talks to produce a show about the life and times of her fourteen kids, we were pretty sure the genre was deader than Michael Richards’ career. Then A&E dropped this bomb. “Steven Seagal: Lawman.” At first glimpse, the show, which follows Deputy Seagal (yeah, that’s right, Deputy Seagal), as he patrols the mean streets of Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, comes off as the greatest SNL digital short of all time. In fact, the editing job is so superb that A&E felt the need to mention that the show is “real” twice in the first ten… Read More

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Dudes Who Got Famous Playing the Same Role Over & Over Again

New York Magazine recently chronicled the career of funny boy Michael Cera, noting that the actor, known for his sheepishly charming cute dork roles, hasn’t really, how do you say, branched out ever. As they put it, he plays “a sweet, downtrodden, awkward wingman who falls for a confident spaz” every time he appears on screen. Which got us thinking, who else has made a career playing the same role in every film? While there are a boatload of actors who have made a living perpetuating a specific character (Steven Seagal, Jackie Chan, Woody Allen), none came to mind quicker than Ben… Read More

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First Internet Addiction Rehab Center Opens in US

Are you having trouble sleeping? Can’t control your behavior? Neglecting friends and family? Is your computer usage interfering with your work life? Congratulations, you have been chosen as an ideal candidate for reSTART, the first Internet addiction rehab facility in the United States.

Located in Fall City, Washington, a short jaunt from Microsoft headquarters in Redmond, the appropriately named reSTART Internet Addiction Recovery Program is housed on 5 pristine acres of Pacific Northwest landscape that’ll make any adolescent dweeb forget that they should Twitpic a screenshot of their latest Scrabble victory. At least, that’s the goal.… Read More

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Where The Wild Things Are and The Neverending Story: Are They the Same Thing?

This morning We Love You So, the behind-the-scenes blog for Where the Wild Things Are, posted the absolutely devastating scene from The Never Ending Story in which the beloved horse Artax is swallowed by the swamp of sadness. A moment not lost on children of the ’80s, the scene marks a tumultuous period in which we as children must a) learn the mourn the lose of a friend b) move on c) begin placing ourselves in fictional worlds for the sole purpose of chilling with mythical horses, flying on big ass dogs with wings, and saving The Childlike Empress from a fate worse than a stay at the Ronald McDonald house in a country without proper public health care.

Eerily, both tales occupy an incredibly similar realm in which real life drama segues into fantastical adventures with mythical beasts. Which begs the question: Are Where the Wild Things Are and The Neverending Story one in the… Read More

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What We Learned Watching Kids With Homemade Flamethrowers

Kids love fire. Rock bands love fire. Put two-and-two together and it makes sense for the diabolical forces to join in holy union, which is exactly what happens in Family Portrait’s video for “Mega Secrets.” But the video, composed of teenagers scorching the good Earth with homemade flamethrowers, is more an experiment in user-generated content, micro-communities and the current state of online culture than it is a promotional clip for the Underwater People’s house band.… Read More

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