A Guide to Smelling Like Your Favorite TV Show

Because everyone in their right mind wakes up in the morning wanting to smell like a serial-killing cannibal, NBC has announced plans to create a perfume based on Hannibalthe TV show. Running with this brilliant idea, the folks over at The Guardian have put together a handy guide to smelling like other popular television shows. Here are some samples:

  • Mad Men“Made with a base of stale alcohol and morning breath, with a topnote of how your clothes used to smell when you got home from a night out before the smoking ban, this fragrance will have strangers everywhere thinking, ‘Why does that man stink?’ and, ‘Why won’t he stop following me around?'”
  • Here Comes Honey Boo Boo“There’s a pretty good chance that this perfume is just watered-down shop-soiled generic-brand ketchup that someone fished out of a bin, but that doesn’t matter.”
  • Call The Midwife: “The scent contains elements of tea, biscuits, gravy browning, Keep Calm and Carry On posters and then – suddenly, out of nowhere – an overwhelming blast of blood and faeces that you’re not really sure fits with the rest of the fragrance.”
  • Top Gear: “Petrol. Warm Beer. Elements of chalk cliff. Curry. Whatever the queen smells like. Money. New car air fresheners. Brut. Those carrier bags full of grotty porn magazines you used to find in the woods as a kid.”