For readers of a certain age and disposition, the words “Choose Your Own Adventure” conjure up immediate memories of hours spent behind the cover of a thrilling white paperback with red trim, carefully selecting the right path to lead you to a treasure, or the solution of a mystery, or the depths of outer space. And now, 20th Century Fox would like to exploit that nostalgia, if you don’t mind.
The studio is on the verge of acquiring the books for what The Hollywood Reporter calls “a crossplatform four-quadrant action-adventure franchise,” and excuse me for just a moment while I go throw up. Okay, I’m back! There’s no word yet on exactly how a film adaptation of these books would work, since the joy and novelty of the thing was how the individual reader’s decision-making controlled the narrative, and that would seem a basically impossible element to replicate in a major motion picture, but hey, fuck it, if they’ll turn Battleship into a movie, why not these, right? Maybe it’ll be as awesome as Mr. Payback.
If you decide the “Choose Your Own Adventures” movies are probably going to suck, turn to page 42.