Congrats, Now Your Netflix Fees Are Lining Adam Sandler’s Pockets

Adam Sandler in "Jack and Jill"

Netflix, the streaming behemoth that made its original content bones via such intelligent and witty programs as Orange is the New Black and House of Cards, has announced what is either its latest high-profile deal, or a blatant attempt to squander all of the goodwill it has accumulated over the past several years. Yes, they’re getting in the Adam Sandler business.

Sandler will star in and produce four original feature films for the streaming company, bringing his distinctive brand of lazy, insultingly stupid, misogynistic, xenophobic, poop-and-fart-joke humor directly into living rooms that usually have to wait until a Sunday afternoon when you’re too hung over to switch off TBS.

“People love Adam’s films on Netflix and often watch them again and again. His appeal spans across viewers of all ages — everybody has a favorite movie, everyone has a favorite line — not just in the US but all over the world,” Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos insisted, in a rather desperate attempt to justify the small fortune they presumably spent to secure Mr. Sandler’s services. Yes, everyone has both a favorite movie and a favorite line. What’s yours? I think mine is “Bibbidy boopety boop boop boop (fart)” from that one bullshit he was in with Spade and Schneider. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW, IT CHANGES EVERY DAY.

Sandler, giving the company a taste of the rapier wit and snazzy wordplay they’re in for, offered up this statement: “When these fine people came to me with an offer to make four movies for them, I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only… Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks. Let the streaming begin!!!!” (Best part: The Verge labels this a “humorous statement.” If you say so!)

Netflix has not yet announced when their Sandler quartet of shame will begin streaming, but in the meantime, have I mentioned that Hulu Plus has most of the Criterion Collection?

[Netflix, The Verge]