The Iron Throne Has Been Remade with Dildos for “Game of Bones”

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The Iron Throne is really having its moment — the original hogged the spotlight from the GOT characters and the upcoming season by being refused Queen Elizabeth’s royal derriere; Flavorwire reported yesterday that the GOT creators explained on Seth Meyers that technically, by some bizarre royal law, the Queen isn’t allowed to sit atop any foreign throne.

Now, the Iron Throne — that emblem of ultimate power that’s sparked most of the hideous events in Game of Thrones — has been remade and gilded in dildos. While this reimagined Iron Throne certainly trumps the original’s status as objectionable for real-life royalty, it may prove completely compelling to those of us whose lives aren’t dictated by the potentiality for PR nightmares. What you see above was cooked up by the penetrating minds at UK bondage company Bondara as a promotion for their new line, “Game of Bones.” The product line includes such delights as The Hand of Honour (“Though first forged in tribute to a wounded knight from a noble family, The Hand of Honour is now a staple instrument for indulging in forbidden pleasures”), The Collosal Phallus (“The Colossal Phallus was allegedly cast from the manhood of a ferocious warrior from the Westerlands who stood eight feet high with the temperament and strength of a beast”), and the seemingly less effective Rose Petals (are they really just rose petals?).

The dildo throne, claims Mashable, bears the gifts/horrors of over 200 plastic dicks, all of which could be yours.