By all indications, Valentine’s Day is the least metal holiday possible. You’re reveling in all the icy, cavernous gloom of mid-winter and then BOOM: frilly pink hearts and stuffed puppies everywhere. It’s enough to make you want to tear shit up, even more than usual. But chin up, metalheads: St. Valentine himself was martyred in a totally gruesome manner (beheading!), and the original pagan holiday Lupercalia, pre-heart-shaped cards and overpriced prix fixe dinners, was partially in honor of the she-wolf that suckled Romulus and Remus, founders of Rome. Wolves, goats, and revelry? Maybe Valentine’s Day can be metal after all. Click through for our guide to celebrating V-day the metal way. … Read More
Are you ready, music fans? Here are your 2011 Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame nominees: Alice Cooper, the Beastie Boys, Bon Jovi, Chic, Neil Diamond, Donovan, Dr. John, the J. Geils Band, LL Cool J, Darlene Love, Laura Nyro, Donna Summer, Joe Tex, Tom Waits, and Chuck Willis. Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Yeah, so are we.
Don’t get us wrong: Tom Waits had better get in, no contest, and while Alice Cooper may be a glorified novelty act, he’s certainly been influential. It’s especially nice to see the late Laura Nyro, an under-appreciated contemporary of Joni Mitchell and Joan Baez, get some well-deserved recognition. The Beastie Boys, Dr. John, Donna Summer, and LL Cool J are unquestionably legends… but they also aren’t rock musicians. Joe Tex, Darlene Love, and Chuck Willis, if not household names, are at least important historically. And then we’ve got Bon Jovi, Chic, Neil Diamond, Donovan, and the J. Geils Band. Uh, Rock Hall selection committee, are you guys running out of rock stars? … Read More
By now, most of us in our right minds are, if you’ll pardon the expression, sick to death of vampires. Forget about Twilight overload — the new omni-vamp parody Vampire Suck is supposed to be beyond awful, and even our standby True Blood seems poised to jump the coffin. (Sookie is a what?) But we can’t bring ourselves to swear off bloodsuckers yet — because there’s a new vampire film premiering this Labor Day weekend, and it stars Dave Foley (of Kids in the Hall fame), Malcolm McDowell, Iggy Pop, and Alice Cooper. … Read More
On last night’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart brought out a very special guest: Muppet Michael Steele, aka Mr. Johnson, the blue puppet man who always sends back his soup, much to Grover’s distress. In the interview, the pair discussed wasteful spending, racism, and “the lesbian bondage fiasco.” Tough topics, but Muppet Steele said that he was “happy to be in the hizzle with my main man Johnny Beefstew!” And then things were interrupted by his “Push It” ringtone.
The hilarious clip got us thinking about our other favorite Muppet/celebrity interactions. From Steve Martin to Johnny Cash, we’ve rounded up 10 of the best, but there are obviously a lot more. Share your favorites in the comments. … Read More
Once you leave your hometown, staying close with childhood friends is almost impossible, and the random life events where you happen to reunite (weddings, funerals) usually lend a surreal, bittersweet quality to the interaction.
Sarah Rainone’s debut novel, Love Will Tear Us Apart, centers on a pair of high school sweethearts who are getting married and their motley wedding party — which for the the most part is made up of people they haven’t been tight with since they were kids. Set to a soundtrack that will be familiar to anyone born in the early ’80s, the story is told from multiple perspectives, and yet all of the narrators seem to be saying the same thing: Whether you’re talking about a place or a person from your past, once you leave, you can never go home again. … Read More
We remember the days. Fourth-period algebra. 10:37 a.m. Stomach rumbling, still over an hour until lunch. Mrs. Klein at the blackboard slaving over the basics of quadratic equations, chalk somehow on the back of her blazer.
We passed the time hunched over our notebook, mechanical pencil primed with a little too much lead, drawing incredible electric guitars that we planned to play someday on dramatically lit stages in front of hoarse, intoxicated, sweating groupies.
It turns out that there were others like us. But whereas we ceremonially burned our spiral-bound five-subjects when the school year was over, they kept at it. While we were playing violent video games, smashing our shins on skateboards, and being rejected by girls in form-fitting turtlenecks, they were at the library, photocopying their blueprints and then sending them off to the world’s leading guitar manufacturers.
The five axes after the jump are physical proof of what can happen when you follow your dreams. Let us know which one speaks to you the most. … Read More
We’re finally being rewarded for enduring the long, strange journey to Election Day — and because it’s America, what better way than with some fast food treats.