In an April 1987 essay for The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction about the then-hot topic of “colorization” (the repugnant trend of slapping computer-generated color over black and white classics, ostensibly to render them watchable to a younger generation that disliked b&w), science fiction author Harlan Ellison wrote of the process, “We don’t really need it… It’s like going to see a club act in which a whistling dog performs ‘The Stars and Stripes Forever.’ Once, it’s interesting; more than once it’s merely a curiosity. That has very little, if anything, to do with art. And pandering to the corrupted taste of a generation of kids for whom movies are nothing more than a prelude to getting laid is loathsome in every way.”
Can we all agree that we’ve reached that point on the 3-D fad? Three new 3-D movies opened last weekend (two remakes and a sequel, for what it’s worth), and all three tanked at the box office. Spy Kids: All the Time in the World opened in third with $12 million, Conan the Barbarian came in fourth with $10 million, while Fright Night came in sixth (behind the fourth week of The Smurfs!) with just under $8 million. The top spot went to The Help; in second place was Rise of the Planet of the Apes, a well-performing summer tent-pole movie that is continuing to bring in audiences with solid word-of-mouth; it’s a genuinely good movie, people are telling each other, with interesting characters and a script that does not appear to have been written by seven-year-olds. You know what else ROTPOTA has going for it? It’s not in 3-D.
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1. Despite its questionable portrayal of African American women, The Help topped the weekend box office, pulling in $20 million in its second week. Not quite so popular: All of the new films that hit theaters over the weekend, including Conan the Barbarian ($10 million), Fright Night ($8 million), and One Day ($5.1 million). [via THR]
2. Fans of An Idiot Abroad will be excited to see this preview of what Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant have planned for Karl Pilkington in the UK reality series’ second season.
3. People magazine paid $1.5 million for the exclusive photos from the Kim Kardashian wedding, but if you’re feeling curious about what went down at 6:37 PDT on Saturday night, find some video and “all of the romantic details” here.
4. Despite reports that Bono was treated for chest pains and heart palpitations last week in Monaco, his spokeswoman is denying that it was anything more than a routine checkup and says that he is “in good health and enjoying a family holiday in the south of France.” [via NME]
5. Lil Wayne has announced that he’ll release his long-awaited album Tha Carter IV online at midnight on August 29 — a few hours after he performs at the MTV Video Music Awards — and then later in stores that same day. [via THR]
Bonus Buzz: 25 Awesome Quotes From Comics On Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast
Welcome to “Trailer Park,” the Friday feature where we collect the week’s new trailers all in one place and do a little “judging a book by its cover,” ranking them from worst to best and taking our best guess at what they may be hiding. This week, we’ve got a whopping nine new trailers, featuring everyone from Jason Statham to Miss Piggy to Antonio Banderas (twice). Check ‘em out after the jump.
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1. A new trailer is up for the Conan the Barbarian reboot. What do you think: Can Jason Momoa hold a candle to Arnold Schwarzenegger? [via Deadline]
2. In case you’ve forgotten, Tina Fey is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Check out the profanity-laced promos for the episode here.
3. James Franco is bringing Collage, a meta-multimedia play that ran into red tape when he attempted to produce at Yale, to NYU for a two-weekend run. [via NYDN]
4. Exciting news: Kathleen Hanna, her Beastie Boys husband Adam Horovitz, and Peaches have all teamed up to record “Dead End Justice,” a track from the forthcoming tribute to the Runaways. Take It or Leave It – A Tribute to the Queens of Noise: The Runaways drops on June 28th with all proceeds going to the American Cancer Society. [via TwentyFourBit]
5. Set your DVRs: The music video for Lady Gaga’s latest single “Judas” will debut on E! News tonight at 7pm. “I don’t view the video as a religious statement,” she has said. “I view it as social statement. I view it as a cultural statement. It’s a metaphor. It’s not meant to be a biblical lesson.”
Bonus link: A Comprehensive Guide to Sitcom Soundtracks, Ranked by How Soon You Should Own Them
We would pay to see a full-length version of Jon and Al Kaplan‘s Conan the Barbarian: The Musical. (If their names sound familiar, they’re also the warped minds behind Silence!, a musical based on Silence of the Lambs and Total Recall: The Musical.) The first song “Crom!,” which is performed by a really bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator, sounds like a not-so-distant relative of something Andrew Lloyd Webber would have come up with — at least until you hit the 2:11 mark. Take a peek after the jump.
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According to Joe Swaine’s recent article for the Daily Telegraph, Barack Obama “collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics” — a fact that has most geeks more excited than a freshly leaked trailer for Watchmen.
After the jump, Gabriel Fowler, owner of Williamsburg indie comic shop Desert Island, gives us his expert analysis of what Obama’s fanboy picks reveal about our future President.
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