This week saw the release of Bat Chain Puller, the “lost” Captain Beefheart album. Although its songs have been available on various bootlegs, the album — recorded with Frank Zappa in 1976 — has never officially been released until now. In the intervening years, it’s become something of a legend — not quite on the level of Smile or the lost David Bowie album, but still, a sought-after relic of a bygone era. And while it’s finally getting an official release, there are still other similarly shelved records we’d love to hear but probably never will (we imagine them stuck in a vault somewhere, like the one the Cigarette Smoking Man tends in The X-Files). Here are a few we’d love to get our hands on.

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As big basketball fans, we were amused to see that fellow closet hoops nut Daniel Lopatin — aka Oneohtrix Point Never — recently released a song called “Rubio.” It’s named in honor of Ricky Rubio, the precocious Catalan point guard who’s currently filling up the highlight reels in his rookie season for the Minnesota Timberwolves. “Rubio” is only available in demo form at the moment, but we like it a lot, and it inevitably got us thinking about other great songs inspired by sports stars — there have been some good ones over the years, along with a few stinkers. Here’s a selection from both sides of the fence.

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Remember that festival line-up formula jpg that did the rounds a couple of years back? It sets out a hilarious generic line-up by categorizing the type of bands you find on every festival bill (“increasingly mainstream headliner,” “good headliner playing shitty latest album,” “fat bearded jam band,” “African tribal music everyone will clap politely for,” etc). Anyway, we got to thinking that a similar formula applies to end-of-year best album lists — and, specifically, that there’s always precisely one token hip-hop release lurking in or around pretty much every rock-centric top ten. Join us as we embark on a retrospective of the last ten years’ worth of such albums, and ponder what it all means. Read More »

It’s that time of year again, when everyone from New Yorker critics to mp3 bloggers who barely write a single sentence about the songs they post embark upon that great equalizer: the best-of list. This week, Pitchfork has revealed its writers’ 100 favorite tracks of 2011, and as usual, it provides some subliminal insight into where young, indie types’ (we’ll do everyone the favor of not using that word) heads have been over the past 12 months. Indulge us in our overanalysis of what the site’s top 10 songs of the year say about us, after the jump. Read More »

1. Former heavyweight boxing champion Joe Frazier — who is perhaps best known for defeating Muhammad Ali in what was called the “Fight of the Century” — died last night at the age of 67 after a battle with liver cancer. The New York Times reflects on his career here.

2. Dr. Conrad Murray is currently on suicide watch after being found guilty of manslaughter in Michael Jackson’s death; he’ll remain behind bars at the LA County Jail until his sentencing on November 29. [via LAT]

3. Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou’s buzzed about World War II film The Flowers of War, which stars Christian Bale, has finally been given a release date in the US, making it eligible as more than just a foreign language entry at this year’s Academy Awards. [via Slashfilm]

4. Speaking of the Oscars, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is standing behind Brett Ratner in the wake of the “rehearsal is for fags” comment that he made at a recent Q&A for his new film Tower Heist. “The bottom line is, this won’t and can’t happen again,” says AMPAS president Tom Sherak. “It will not happen again. He apologized and we will move forward.” [via Deadline]

5. While Drake’s highly-anticipated collaboration album with Lil Wayne is no longer happening, he will be working with Rick Ross on a new mix tape project called Y.O.L.O. (You Only Live Once). [via Vulture]

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Halloween may be over, but that’s no excuse to limit yourself to being yourself. Yesterday, we spied the new cover of transversal style magazine Candy over at World of Wonder, and were fascinated (and delighted) to see Chloë Sevigny posing as photographer Terry Richardson. The shot got us to thinking about all the celebrities who’ve dressed up as one another in the past, whether in official capacity (photoshoots, biopics) or unofficial (Halloween, general ribaldry) and ranging from classy to hilarious to downright cruel. After all, celebrities want to dress up as Nicki Minaj for Halloween every year just as much as you and all of your friends do. Click through to giggle, gape and gulp at your favorite celebrities dressed up as, well, your favorite celebrities — and let us know whose costumes you dig in the comments.

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1. Despite its questionable portrayal of African American women, The Help topped the weekend box office, pulling in $20 million in its second week. Not quite so popular: All of the new films that hit theaters over the weekend, including Conan the Barbarian ($10 million), Fright Night ($8 million), and One Day ($5.1 million). [via THR]

2. Fans of An Idiot Abroad will be excited to see this preview of what Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant have planned for Karl Pilkington in the UK reality series’ second season.

3. People magazine paid $1.5 million for the exclusive photos from the Kim Kardashian wedding, but if you’re feeling curious about what went down at 6:37 PDT on Saturday night, find some video and “all of the romantic details” here.

4. Despite reports that Bono was treated for chest pains and heart palpitations last week in Monaco, his spokeswoman is denying that it was anything more than a routine checkup and says that he is “in good health and enjoying a family holiday in the south of France.” [via NME]

5. Lil Wayne has announced that he’ll release his long-awaited album Tha Carter IV online at midnight on August 29 — a few hours after he performs at the MTV Video Music Awards — and then later in stores that same day. [via THR]

Bonus Buzz: 25 Awesome Quotes From Comics On Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast

1. Did you know that Shaquille O’Neal wants to be a film director? According to TMZ, he’s nearly done with his classes at the Filmmaking Conservatory at the New York Film Academy’s branch at Universal Studios Hollywood, and the school reports that he has been “incredibly humble, funny, and likable” as a student.

2. Some hardcore fans of T.S. Eliot are upset by plans to build a development with nearly 4,000 houses and an industrial estate on the edge of East Coker, the farming village where the famed writer’s ashes are buried. [via ArtsBeat]

3. Prince Harry has officially dumped his girlfriend, lingerie model Florence Brudenell Bruce, who he has been dating since June. The completely awesome reason that he gave? Harry wants more time to focus on his helicopter training. [via The Daily Beast]

4. Saturday Night Live writer/guest star Paula Pell has signed on to play Ron Swanson’s mom — aka the original Tammy Swanson in his life — on the upcoming season of Parks and Recreation. [via TVLine]

5. Tyler, the Creator and Lil Wayne have teamed up with the Game on a lovely little track called “Martians Vs. Goblins,” which will feature on the latter’s forthcoming The R.E.D. Album, which is due out later this month. Listen to it here.

Bonus Buzz: The 5 Best Moments Of Warren Buffett’s Epic New York Times Op-ed

Sometimes, dear readers, an article comes around that is so irksome, so bothersome, so flat out wrong that we feel compelled to offer a correction. Such was the case this week when MTV Clutch released their “Indie Rock Guide to Rap,” a list that compared figures in the rap world to popular indie rock bands, presumably because there’s no way you might have both Wiz Khalifa and the Arcade Fire on your iPod. It confused us from the get-go, since rap is all about swagger, lyricism, and showmanship and indie rock centers around DIY lo-fi scuzz. But what really sent it over the edge was that many of the comparisons — we’re looking at you, Lady Gaga — aren’t even remotely indie. And so, without further ranting, our corrected version of rappers to indie rockers. Disagree? Leave your corrections in the comments.

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1. Vulture reports that super star composers T Bone Burnett and Danny Elfman will join forces to score Gary Ross’s highly-anticipated film adaptation of The Hunger Games. They say that you can expect the soundtrack to be “sophisticated, cerebral, soulful, and rebellious,” which would normally elicit an eye roll from us, but considering their resumes, we’ll make an exception.

2. Fans of Neil Gaiman should not expect HBO’s adaptation of American Gods to follow the book exactly. Says Gaiman: “The plan right now is that the first season would essentially be the first book, with divergences. You don’t want the people who’ve read the book to be able to go, ‘I know everything that’s going to be happening.’ Well, no. You know a lot more than anybody who is starting from here, but we will do things that will surprise you, too.” [via Zap2It]

3. Ai Weiwei’s mom says that Chinese authorities are now seeking nearly $2 million in fines and unpaid taxes from her son, who was recently imprisoned over the issue for three months. Ai’s disputing that number, and demanding that his accountant, who is still being detained, be released in order to help him deal with the situation. [via The Daily Beast]

4. Lil Wayne says that he plans to retire when he hits his 30s — which is only a few years away. “I’m bowing out still on top, I’ll make you all want me when I retire,” he told XXL magazine. “I honestly think [my career] is unfair to my kids. Honestly this is the real truth. So about 30, 31, 32, I got to get ready [to retire].” We’ll believe it when we see it. [via NME]

5. For some reason, this makes us extremely pleased: According to new findings from Ancestry.com, Kate Middleton (or rather, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge) and Jane Austen are eleventh cousins, six times removed. [via People]

Bonus link: Screen Rant’s 20 Favorite Movie Robots