Today at Flavorpill, we swooned over this clip of Joseph Gordon-Levitt doing an acoustic cover of R. Kelly’s “Ignition.” We wondered how much it would cost to have a ketchup fountain at our next big event. We couldn’t believe that someone’s friend would allow them to get this Friday Night Lights-inspired finger tattoo. We tried to imagine working at a company that forced its employees to display their bra cup size on their name tags. We were impressed by Tony Craig’s crazy dice sculptures. We decided that we would not like to sleep in a floating tent hanging off a tree. We couldn’t get over the $7,000 pink Swarovski crystal-encrusted mini bathtub that Kelly Rowland bought Beyoncé’s baby-girl-to-be. We saw visual proof that most movie posters are basically variations on the same theme. We started getting excited for Jason Segel’s next project, which he describes as “a kids adventure movie in the style of Goonies or Labyrinth.” We read what has to be the most thoughtful analysis of the McRib’s elusiveness ever written (spoiler alert: it’s tied to the cash price for hog meat). We were mildly disturbed by this font made out of leg hair. And finally, we were oddly amused by this photo of Oprah running over hot coals. Thanks to our friends at BuzzFeed, you can photoshop your own images of Oprah running away from things!

If you flipped to FX last Thursday night, the TV screen probably looked more like TLC’s Toddlers & Tiaras than It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The episode, appropriately titled, “Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties,” saw Danny DeVito’s attempts to host a children’s beauty pageant without appearing like a pedophile. As per usual, all hell broke loose and the Paddy’s gang came out on the bottom, but not before Sweet Dee relived her childhood beauty queen dreams. To continue this Always Sunny trend of pageantry reminiscence, we’ve gathered some celebrities with real-life pasts of sashes and crowns. Check ‘em out after the jump.

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Quick question: Can you name one program on OWN, the struggling cable network that Oprah Winfrey launched back in January? We can’t either. That’s why we find it interesting that The LA Times is reporting that Oprah just named herself OWN’s chief executive and chief creative officer. While she’s already spent hundreds of millions on programming and promotion, Winfrey has admitted that her focus — which is perhaps invaluable — was previously trained on the epic final season of her daytime talk show.

Considering that we know absolutely nothing about running a TV network, but can clearly see that this should have been the setup from the beginning, do you think that OWN now stands a chance of surviving? Or do you think that this will be the first time that we will see Oprah, who has an estimated net worth of $2.7 billion, fail at something showbiz-related? Tell us what you think in the comments in your best Oprah shouting voice.

Laughing Squid tipped us off to the work of artist Scott Blake, in a post about his 2002 self-portrait in ecstasy pills, created in Photoshop with images he downloaded from the pill-testing clearinghouse DanceSafe. Our curiosity about the artist’s other work led us to his website, where we found a motherlode of other witty and thought-provoking pictures of pop-culture icons. Blake uses CD and book covers, text, and barcodes to make portraits of famous people rendered in the products they sell us, directly or indirectly. His work — which also includes clocks, net art, collages, and paintings — is a reminder of the relationship between the commercial world and the people we both admire and revile. Ten of our favorite Blake portraits are after the jump.

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Today at Flavorpill, we were surprised to discover that Napoleon’s brother Joseph spent part of his life in New Jersey. We liked Moviefone’s list of five sequels that are pretty much the same as the originals, which was inspired by The Hangover Part II. We were shocked by the total cost of all of Oprah’s favorite things: $23.8 million. We streamed the new Mark Ronson-produced Black Lips LP. We read an excerpt from Mindy Kaling’s forthcoming book of essays, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me. We realized how much Barack Obama’s signature resembles “a cartoon baby Tyrannosaurus playing with a ball of yarn.” We were terrified by these GIFs of American Idol finalist Scott McCreery. We were impressed by this Chewbacca bento box. We enjoyed reading Herman Melville’s description of himself in this passport application. We came across a totally adorable photo of Jason Sudeikis as a little kid. And finally, we wondered if Guy Fieri realizes that Melissa McCarthy based her Bridesmaids character on him. Looking back at her performance now, we totally see it.

1. Thanks to raking in $90 million from her Monster Ball tour and an unparalleled social media presence, Lady Gaga has stolen Oprah’s number one spot on this year’s Forbes Celebrity 100 list. Rounding out the top five are Justin Bieber, U2, and Elton John. [via MTV]

2. So, according to The Huffington Post, Lars Von Trier’s not-hilarious-to-anyone-else Hitler comments actually got him kicked out of the Cannes Film Festival — although, it’s unclear if the ban is permanent. From the official statement: “The board of directors profoundly regrets that this forum has been used by Lars von Trier to express comments that are unacceptable, intolerable, and contrary to the ideals of humanity and generosity that preside over the very existence of the festival. The Board of Directors firmly condemns these comments and declares Lars von Trier a persona non grata at the Festival de Cannes, with effect immediately.”

3. According to The Hollywood Reporter, British comedienne Catherine Tate is producers’ first choice to replace Steve Carell on The Office. If you’re unfamiliar with her work on Doctor Who, you’ll get a chance to check her out in tonight’s season finale.

4. Last night Beyoncé debuted the post-apocalyptic video for “Run the World (Girls)” on American Idol; this morning, we get the kind of naked cover of her new album, 4, which is due out on June 28th. [via Vulture]

5. In case you were curious, Gawker has put together a possibly NSFW encyclopedia of every other awful thing Arnold Schwarzenegger has done.

Bonus link: 21 Pop Cultural Signs Of The Apocalypse

1. In case you’re curious as to what happens in Oprah’s second and third final shows, The Hollywood Reporter was part of the 20,000-person, celebrity-filled crowd at yesterday’s four-hour taping, and has a detailed record of the entire thing (which includes Aretha Franklin performing “Amazing Grace”!). The episodes will air on May 23rd and 24th.

2. Danish director Lars von Trier loves saying crazy things to journalists, especially when he’s at Cannes. Lucky for us, Vulture has rounded up the 10 most controversial things he said at the Melancholia press conference, which includes some rambling about being a Nazi and his sympathies for Hitler.

3. The Austin City Limits music festival has announced its 2011 lineup, and it includes headliners Stevie Wonder, Arcade Fire, Coldplay, and Kanye West. [via Pop Candy]

4. The Who’s Pete Townshend will release his long-awaited memoir Who He? — which he has been working on for 15 years now — in the fall of 2012. Regarding a 2003 child pornography incident, which was part of his “background research,” he now says: “I believe I was sexually abused between the age of five and six and a half when in the care of my maternal grandmother who was mentally ill at the time. Some of the things I have seen on the internet have informed my book.” [via NME]

5. So this bodes well: Michelle Williams will play Glinda the Good Witch in Sam Raimi’s Wizard of Oz prequel, Oz, the Great and Powerful. She joins a cast that already includes James Franco (The Wizard), Rachel Weisz (the Wicked Witch of the East), and Mila Kunis (The Wicked Witch of the West). [via Moveline]

Bonus link: Download Bon Iver’s 10 Best Cover Songs

1. Green Day’s American Idiot musical has been optioned as a film. Dustin Lance Black (Milk) is in talks to write the screenplay, Tom Hanks is one of the producers, and Michael Mayer — who helmed the stage version — has already signed on to direct. [via Digital Spy]

2. $1 million for 30 seconds. That’s what running a commercial during the final week of The Oprah Winfrey Show in May will cost you, which is about $700,000 less than what you’d pay to run a spot during Academy Awards. [via Vulture]

3. Phil Spector’s lawyers have launched a new appeal against his 2009 murder conviction and are requesting a third trial, claiming that his original sentencing was “prejudiced by testimony from five women who claimed to be victims of gun-related incidents with the producer in the past.” He is currently serving out a 19-years-to-life-sentence. [via NME]

4. Interesting news: Joaquin Phoenix may be coming out of “retirement” to nab the role of an alcoholic disciple in Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest film, an untitled religious drama about the founder of a Scientology-like religion (Philip Seymour Hoffman). Jeremy Renner had previously been attached to the part. [via Slashfilm]

5. Yet another track from the Beastie Boys’ long-awaited new album Hot Sauce Committee Pt. 2 has leaked. Listen to “Tadlock’s Glasses” here.

Bonus link: We were nominated for a Webby! Cast your vote for Flavorpill’s Weekly Dose in the Online Film & Video – Variety category.

Today at Flavorpill, we Oprah-fied ourselves. We were impressed by this selection of sloths that look like Justin Bieber. We fell in love with the vintage image of Faye Dunaway on this year’s Cannes Film Festival poster. We read about the apparently frequent phenomenon of people finding love in bookstores. We had way too much fun looking at these celebrity prom pictures — especially Lizzy Caplan’s. We wondered if Total Film’s faux posters for X-Men: First Class are better than the movie will be. We got a sneak peak at Swiss architect Peter Zumthor’s secret garden-inspired design for this year’s Serpentine Pavilion in London’s Hyde Park. We found out why pot makes things seem funnier. And finally, after watching a video of a guy allegedly beat four Mario games at the same time using one controller, we decided it was time to call it day. There’s no way we can top that.

First, the bad news: tonight’s episode of 30 Rock is a rerun. The good news came earlier this week, on Tom Hanks’s Twitter feed: “RadioMan delivers msg from T.Fey. Result? I’m on 30 Rock! Thanks, RMan Hanx.” Translation: “RadioMan” is Craig Castaldo, a homeless man who frequently pops up in New York-filmed TV shows and films, and is often found outside of David Letterman’s studio. Fey posed for a picture with Castaldo last week, and he apparently somehow brokered the deal for Hanks to make a 30 Rock guest appearance.

30 Rock fans often split on the show’s frequent use of guest stars; some say they’re too reliant on them, while others insist that Fey and her writing staff often find ingenious ways for celebrities to send up their own images or bring their comedic gifts to off-the-wall characters. We lean towards the latter point-of-view (with occasional exceptions — even we weren’t nuts about Jennifer Aniston’s episode). So with an eye on the upcoming Tom Hanks cameo, we took a look back at some of our favorite 30 Rock guest appearances. In the interest of brevity, we restricted ourselves to folks who only appeared once, so you’ll not find recurring favorites like Will Arnett’s Devon Banks, Jon Hamm’s Dr. Drew Baird, or Isabella Rosellini’s Biana Donaghy (“You know I love my big beef ‘n’ cheddar!”). Check out our picks after the jump, and add your favorites in the comments.

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