“Telephone,” the latest video drama from Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce — with the help of Gaga’s prized directorial auteur Jonas Akerlund — unfurls at an epic nine minutes, thirty-two seconds. If you don’t have the time, bandwidth, or firewall clearance to sit through 9:32 of NSFW ass-shaking, mass murder, conceptual hairdos and product placement, click on through to our screencapped guide. (Yeah, we know, it’s kind of our beat.) As always, if there’s anything we missed, school us in the comments.
