Conan the Barbarian and Fright Night, two remakes of beloved 1980s movies (souped up with CG and 3-D, of course) hit theaters tomorrow. Earlier today, the Internet went crazy over the news that Ridley Scott is rebooting Blade Runner. With Hollywood’s seemingly never-ending series of ‘80s revamps, apparently everything old is new again, but the logic for the continued revisiting of one of cinema’s worst decades is beyond understanding. Seriously, how many honest-to-God masterpieces were there in the 1980s? A half-dozen, maybe? (For the record: Raging Bull, Do the Right Thing, Blue Velvet, Raiders, E.T., and The Thin Blue Line, but feel free to play the home game).

As we’ve discussed before, nostalgia is a powerful thing; our faculties for critical judgment aren’t always in place when we’re, say, pre-teens, and the demographically desirable audience that these films are being pitched to were either (on the far side) very young children when these films were released, or (on the younger end) kids when they first saw them on VHS. They hold the memory of those movies as a sacred thing, a talisman of childhood. But have you ever gone back to these movies? Good heavens. After the jump, we’ll take a look at ten of the most financially successful and culturally iconic movies that, come to find out, are actually terrible. Add your own in the comments; if you disagree, we’re sure you’ll let us know. … Read More