Tower Heist, perhaps the most unimaginatively titled movie of the year (and that’s no mean feat, following Bad Teacher and Horrible Bosses), is out this Friday, and whatever interest it might have rustled up with its stellar cast of character actors (including Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, Téa Leoni, Judd Hirsch, and Gabby Sidibe) and impressive screenwriters (Ocean’s 11’s Ted Griffin and Catch Me if You Can’s Jeff Nathanson) are pretty much cancelled out by two participants: director Brett Ratner, who has managed to kill every potential franchise he’s touched (with the unfortunate exception of his own Rush Hour movies), and co-star Eddie Murphy.

The fact that Murphy is playing an ex-con (like 48 HRS., remember? Back when he was funny?) in a movie not aimed at four-year-olds, and is actually bothering to do the slightest bit of publicity (in the form of a Rolling Stone interview — more on that later) seems to have folks feverishly talking “comeback” or “return to form” or whatever. This notion requires two giant leaps: 1) ignoring the Tower Heist trailer, which shows Murphy doing the same tired tough-guy schtick and exaggerated “street” patter as the execrable I Spy, and 2) overlooking the fact that he’s done exactly two good movies since 1999 (Bowfinger and Dreamgirls). We’re over Eddie Murphy, and after the jump, we’ll tell you why. … Read More