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Adult TV Characters and Their Kid Counterparts

Judy Berman — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:00:45 +0000

Well, TV fans, the die is cast. Last week, The CW green-lighted The Carrie Diaries, that Sex and the City prequel network television has been threatening to inflict on us for years. Set in the ’80s, the show will follow Carrie Bradshaw’s high-school years in Connecticut, where we’re sure she’ll be asking a whole new, teen-focused slew of pseudo-profound questions (“What does ‘going steady’ really mean?”) and lusting over shoes at Contempo Casuals. But forgive us if we don’t intend to watch the show for long enough to find out. Like Mary Elizabeth Williams at Salon, we’ve had our fill of Carrie. In fact, the only good thing we can imagine coming from the prequel is that it inspired us brainstorm some adult TV characters who already have kid equivalents on other shows. Find out who Zack Morris grew up to be, and which kid reminds us of Downton Abbey’s Dowager Countess, after the jump.

Jeff Winger, Community = Zack Morris, Saved by the Bell

What does a cocky, scheming high-school heart throb who hooked up with every girl on the cast and is always in trouble with the principal grow up to become? More likely than not, a cocky lawyer who fabricated his undergraduate degree and is currently scheming his way through community college, where he hooks up with every girl on the cast.

Matchmaking for TV Teens: 9 Fictional Couples We’d Like to See

Jennifer Lewis — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:30:53 +0000

Is your boyfriend in love with his cousin? Are you in love with your neighbor? Is your neighbor in love with a jerk? Are you a cartoon? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you might be a lovelorn teenage character on a TV series. When we brought you our favorite ’90s teen power couples, we neglected to mention the best friends, classmates, ex-lovers, and siblings of these perfect couples — the characters who, more often than not, are majorly lacking in the love department. This phenomenon is typically blamed on awkwardness, fickleness, or ugly duckling syndrome, but what if these misfits’ true TV match is just on another series? With Valentine’s Day less than a month away, we’re pairing lonely teenage TV characters with other lonely TV characters. Some are from current shows, others are from yesteryear, but all deserve a little more love than they receive. Check out the matches we’ve made after the jump, then hit the comments to recommend others. It’s pretty fun.

Brian Krakow, My So-Called Life + Clarissa Darling, Clarissa Explains It All

They’re smart, they’re sassy, they spend a lot of time in their bedrooms, and they’re both sort of in love with their neighbors. Of course, Brian’s love for Angela was undeniably more pronounced than Clarissa’s feelings for Sam, but if Brian and Clarissa lived in the same TV town, they’d surely fall in love whilst geeking out about PCs and mismatched clothes.

Kenneth Parcell, 30 Rock + Ann Veal, Arrested Development

Okay, Kenneth isn’t a teenager. We actually have no idea what Kenneth’s age is supposed to be — it’s a 30 Rock secret. Regardless, if Egg was cool with dating GOB, she’d be even cooler with dating Kenneth. The NBC page would undeniably fall head over heels for Miss Veal’s religious values and meaty last name, and they would live happily ever after — or at least until the Rapture.

Kimmy Gibber, Full House + Screech, Saved by the Bell

Here we find Kimmy and Screech, the offbeat best friends of DJ Tanner and Zack Morris, respectively. If Screech had been slightly less nerdy, these two would be the exact same person. Wait, would that make them soul mates or mortal enemies? Oh well, we’ll go with soul mates.

Doogie Howser, Doogie Howser, M.D. + Alex Mack, The Secret World of Alex Mack

If you’ve found yourself with super-strange teenage powers after coming into accidental contact with a top-secret chemical, you should probably just date a 16-year-old doctor. He’ll mend your electrocution-based wounds and won’t be disgusted when you spontaneously turn into a puddle of liquid. Problem solved! Oh, and we know that Doogie (sometimes) had Wanda, but that relationship was an emotional roller coaster.

Roger Klotz, Doug + Helga Pataki, Hey Arnold

There’s only one girl who could handle the teenage monster that is Roger Klotz, and that girl is Helga Pataki. Sure, Helga “loves” Arnold, but there must be something missing — why else would she be so inexplicably evil? Roger and Helga would keep each other in line.

Carlton Banks, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air + Jackie Burkhart, That ’70s Show

Hear us out on this one. True, their shows were set in different decades, but we know two things for sure about Jackie Burkhart’s heart: 1) It loves money, and 2) It settled down with Fez. Now, if you take some of Fez’s quirkiest qualities and give him brains and the lifestyle for which Jackie always longed, you’d have Carlton Banks.

Karen Foster, Step by Step + Eric Matthews, Boy Meets World

Ah, the classic dimwit with a pretty face. Every sitcom needs one. Although Karen Foster took the pretty-and-vain route in Step by Step while Boy Meets World’s Eric Matthews chose to be pretty and goofy, these two would probably balance out into a normal, functional, enjoyable couple.

Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks + Gretchen, Recess

If anyone could successfully date a cartoon, it would be Bill Haverchuck. With their shared disregard for social norms and similar oversize glasses, Bill and Gretchen would make a cute little couple. Plus, we all know that the Geeks loved themselves some Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Gretchen’s handheld “Galileo” contraption was voiced by Eric Idle.

Artie, Glee + Pandora, Skins

It’s a funny sight to see anyone from the Skins saga next to a character from Glee, but this couple would make sense. Not just because they’re both generally naïve and overly optimistic, but because they could make some sweet, sweet music together.

TV’s Best ’90s Teen Power Couples

Jennifer Lewis — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:30:00 +0000

Ah, to be young and in love on a ’90s television series. So much tension, so much betrayal, so many make-ups and too many break-ups. Remember that time Jordan Catalano enlisted Brian Krakow to secretly write his love letter for Angela Chase? Or when D.J. Tanner accused Steve Hale of canoodling with an ex-girlfriend at the school dance? What about when Steve Urkel transformed into Stefan Urquelle in order to win Laura’s heart? Most ’90s teenage relationships were trivial, others lasted seasons upon seasons, but we’re recalling the ones that still make us giddy — the ones that we thought, at one point or another, were meant to be. Take a trip down TV’s memory lane with some ’90s teenage power couples after the jump, and let us know in the comments whose relationship made you the most envious.

Angela & Jordan, My So-Called Life

Ladies and gentlemen, may we present to you the king and queen of the Liberty High School boiler room — Miss Angela Chase and Mr. Jordan Catalano. Although Jordan was reluctant to be seen in public with our dear Angela, this My So-Called Life couple dazzled our ’90s TV screens with their ups and downs and awkward silences. Honorable mention: Rayanne Graff and the ever elusive lead singer of Frozen Embryos, “Tino.”

What’s On at Flavorpill: The Links That Made the Rounds in Our Office

Judy Berman — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 23:00:38 +0000

Today at Flavorpill, this supercut of 40 TV Christmas moments reminded us that Saved by the Bell once did its very own rendition of A Christmas Carol – and Slater was Tiny Tim. We found McSweeney’s “Jingle Bells FAQ” illuminating. We thought it was very sweet that Jonathan Ames bought Bored to Death fans $1600 worth of drinks at a memorial for the show Wednesday night. We enjoyed an NSFW animated holiday card from Dan Meth, featuring appearances by both James Brown and Mike Tyson. We explored the Matt Damon Hairodox: “The more awful the hair, the better the performance.” We overanalyzed Carrie Brownstein’s candid photos from the set of Portlandia. We gawked at Hilary Duff’s festively painted baby bump. We got hungry thinking about the ten most mouth-watering moments from the Bible. We reminded you that this is your last chance to demonstrate your generosity and Flavorpill love by donating to Food Bank for New York City. (We’re competing with other NYC media companies to see who can raise the most money for this great cause, and the contest ends tomorrow.) And finally, we wished our readers a very happy holiday, whether you’re observing the birth of Christ, celebrating the Festival of Lights, or airing your Festivus grievances. We’ll be counting down the first half of our top 20 posts of the year over this weekend and will be back with new stuff on Monday.

10 Totally Slammin’ TV Bands from the ’90s

Jennifer Lewis — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:30:12 +0000

There’s no denying that ’90s television was chock-full of dope fictional bands, and it’s about time we cranked up our nostalgia and got jiggy with the fake musical groups of yesteryear. Some were boy bands, others were punks, but most just settled into their oversize, unwashed flannel shirts with some bangin’ alt-rock vibes. Remember that time Little Pete and meter-man Mel formed the Blowholes? Or when Doug and Skeeter ran into the Beets at the Honker Burger? What about that time Jordan Catalano, like, serenaded Angela Chase with that song written about her hair, or something? …Not! (Hold up, did we even use that right? It’s been a while.) Regardless, check out some totally fake ’90s TV bands after the jump, home-skillets. They’ve missed you.

Frozen Embryos, My So-Called Life

Excuse our bold statement, but Jordan Catalano was definitely the hunkiest illiterate guitar player to ever grace your ’90s television. Like Angela Chase, we enjoyed the way he leaned “against stuff,” but mostly we just loved that Frozen Embryos’ elusive lead singer, Tino, never showed up for anything, giving good ol’ Jared Leto ample time to — y’know, sing about his car and cover the Ramones.

When TV Appropriates Cult and Indie Culture: A Retrospective

Judy Berman — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:30:54 +0000

When word spread that Gossip Girl was going to set an episode at New York’s cultish “immersive theatre” production Sleep No More, fans of the show — who have been known to develop wallet-crippling addictions to it — were not happy. Would their favorite secret spot soon be overrun by teenyboppers keen on re-enacting Serena and Blair’s melodramatic intrigue? Would Gossip Girl give away any of the Macbeth-inspired experience’s secrets? Well, the episode aired last night, and we learned far more about Chuck Bass’s libido (or newfound lack thereof) and Ivy’s ex-boyfriend than Sleep No More. To commemorate this supremely odd moment of convergence, we’ve rounded up some of the best and strangest moments that have found TV shows appropriating cult, underground, and indie culture, from Saved by the Bell‘s rave to Roseanne‘s riot grrrls, after the jump.

Gossip Girl and Sleep No More

As anyone who knows even a little bit about Gossip Girl and Sleep No More could easily anticipate, the series basically used the production’s masks, darkness, and hidden rooms as an excuse to do the same kind of mistaken-identity-masquerade business it does at least once a season, with the added bonus of a few secret encounters. The moral of the story seems to be that Upper East Siders should never participate in any activity that requires a mask — even if it is a benefit — especially when Liz Hurley’s involved. Yes, we saw a bit of the Macbeths bathing in blood and glimpsed a few of Sleep No More‘s many secluded nooks, but fans can rest assured that Gossip Girl didn’t blow the lid off the experience.

10 Awesomely Fake Music Videos from Film and TV

Jennifer Lewis — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 15:30:57 +0000

Every now and then, we’ll come across a “successful” fictional musician that — you got it, releases a full-length music video for an original song within their respective film or TV show. Unlike the fake music videos that merely string together inconsequential scenes from footage we’ve already seen, the ones we’re noting are tiny, ridiculous masterpieces in themselves. Want some lovin’? Rex Manning’s got a whole music video about bringing it to your front door. Need a pink-haired Jonathan Rhys Meyers to glam up your life? We’ve got that, too. Kick back and enjoy as some daring actors fulfill their inner pop star fantasies in these over-the-top, awesomely fake music videos, and sorry in advance for getting these silly songs stuck in your head. You may proceed.

“Say No More (Mon Amour),” Empire Records

With lyrics like “lips are for kissing, baby, say no more,” can you blame Liv Tyler’s Empire Records character for falling in love with Rex Manning? He’ll answer your English questions in French, toss wine in your face, and essentially tell you to be quiet so he can t’adore all over you. It’s been said before, but “oh Rexy, you’re so sexy.”

‘Full House’ Stars Reunite for New Web Series

Judy Berman — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:59:58 +0000

Joey Gladstone, Stephanie Tanner, Mr. Belding, and Kato Kaelin, of OJ Simpson-trial fame. This sounds more like the setup for some kind of joke than the cast of a new show. And yet, former Full House stars Dave Coulier and Jodie Sweetin truly are reuniting to star in a web series called Can’t Get Arrested, in which they play fictionalized versions of themselves, two actors trying to revitalize their careers. Coulier gave The Wrap a preview of the premise: “Jodie and I … we’re sitting at dinner and the paparazzi takes a picture of us, and they purposely Photoshop a nip slip onto her, and it hits the press… So she’s outraged, but I think it’s a real opportunity.” That’s when the scheming commences, and where Kaelin and Saved by the Bell‘s Dennis Haskins join in the action. The show will begin its initial five-episode run on CantGetArrestedShow.com at the end of this month, with new installments debuting every week thereafter. Coulier also teases that it’s possible other Full House alums will make guest appearances.We’d like to request Kimmy Gibbler, please.

Watch a Supercut of TV’s Worst “Very Special” Episodes

Caroline Stanley — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:30:08 +0000

Where were you when Jessie Spano had her epic caffeine pill freakout? Or Stephanie Tanner was almost bullied into trying a cigarette in the girl’s bathroom? Do you remember those speed-fueled dance moves that Carlton Banks whipped out at the prom? Children of the ’80s will recognize many of these clips pulled from “very special” episodes of classic shows like Saved by the Bell, Full House, and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air — unless you had the kind of super strict parents who wouldn’t allow you to watch Steve Urkel getting drunk the first time around. Either way, many thanks to Pleated Jeans for making this Monday afternoon a little more bearable with their fantastic compilation. Let us know in the comments which of these hilariously dramatic warnings — which, if we’re being honest, often traumatized us back in the day — is your favorite.

TV Characters Who Would Be Best Friends in Real Life

Judy Berman — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 15:00:34 +0000

One of the best things we’ve come across lately is this photo of Kyle Chandler — aka Friday Night Lights‘ beloved Coach Eric Taylor — grilling enough meat to serve a famished army and looking utterly stoked about it. What really captured our imagination, though, was Vulture’s inquiry: “Does Coach Taylor–Ron Swanson fan-fic exist yet?” We don’t know that we’d be particularly interested in reading Coach/Ron slash, but it does make sense that they would enjoy each other’s company. Once we started thinking about characters from entirely different TV universes who would be best friends in real life, we couldn’t stop. So, you’ll find ten perfect pairs after the jump; add your own in the comments.

Eric Taylor (Friday Night Lights) and Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)

Sure, Coach Taylor is a character on a show that makes everyone cry and Ron Swanson is the funniest part of Parks and Rec, but they have a lot in common. Rugged, manly men who also know how to appreciate a smart, strong (in Ron’s case, occasionally too-strong) woman, these are no-bullshit guys with good, old-fashioned values who won’t hesitate to call you out for being a wimp. And, based on the photo Vulture dug up, we’re pretty sure Coach could match Ron bite for bite in a steak-eating contest.