There are love songs, of course. There are break-up songs. And then there are songs about relationships that don’t fit into either of those categories — the ones about love affairs that aren’t ending, even when something has gone seriously, perhaps irreparably wrong. Romantic crisis anthems, if you will. The newest of Montreal album, Paralytic Stalks, which is out this week, is all about a relationship in peril; the band’s mastermind, Kevin Barnes, recently told Spin, “The general theme of the whole record is trying to keep myself together when I’m faced with all this madness, trying to keep my relationships together.” It struck us that we don’t hear these stories told in song nearly enough — and since Valentine’s Day, with its perfectionist conception of love, is around the corner, this seemed like a good time to compile them.
Remember what TLC was like when we were kids? No, not the rappers, the cable channel. In the ’80s and ’90s, the network was home to all sorts of educational shows; you could learn how to do DIY home repair, whip up a restaurant-quality meal, and understand obscure scientific topics in a single afternoon. These days, though, it’s pretty much all reality freak shows: Jon & Kate Plus 8! Toddlers & Tiaras! The literally nauseating My Strange Addiction! Basically, if you have a weird life, they want to put it on TV. This laugh-out-loud funny fake promo takes the network’s formula to its logical extreme. Get ready for Dwarf Hoarders, Uterus Cannon, and Dr. Drew’s Second Chance, Bad Odds – all on TLC, “The Learning Channel, for some reason.”
In the trailer for Sarah Palin’s new eight-week reality series, which we just spotted over on Jezebel, she hikes snow-capped mountains, kayaks, fishes, waves at a plane, rides around on a four-wheeler, and dogsleds — all in just 30 seconds. She also says lots of folksy things like, “Oh gosh! We are somewhere people dream about,” “This is flipping fun! Why can’t we ever just be satisfied with tranquility?,” and “I’d rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office. I’d rather be out here being free.” We don’t believe that for one second, lady. And frankly, we can only see one upside to what essentially looks like a really long Palin infomercial: More fodder for a Tina Fey parody!
Thanks to “Thriller,” Michael Jackson costumes have been a Halloween favorite for years. His untimely death, however, just moved the costume from parody to homage. This Halloween, you can expect a glut of glove-toting tributes — but that’s no reason to follow suit. Many other deceased musical icons deserve your hastily thrown-together attention. After the jump, our picks, from Biggie to Kurt, along with the essential-icon items that will make you sure to be recognized.
Word from The Hollywood Reporter that VH1 has greenlit two new reality shows — one that will star Sandra “Pepa” Denton of Salt n Pepa and another that will feature Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas from TLC — is kind of strange, right? Suddenly we feel like it’s 1995 again and “Waterfalls” is on heavy rotation on MTV; Pepa is hooking up with Treach from Naughty by Nature, and “None Of Your Business” just made the duo the first female rap Grammy winners. Read More »
