Let’s face it: some names just have better songs than others. If you’re a “Sue” or a “Caroline,” there are endless ballads to your beauty and badass-ness. If your name happens to be “Jebediah,” you’re out of luck, unless you like hymns. It’s something we wish our parents had considered when naming us — except for a lovely anthem by Camera Obscura, most “Margaret” songs are about prostitutes. So, for all you rocker parents-to-be, we’ve assembled a guide to what different names mean according to rock songs. Flip through our glossary after the jump. [Edit: This post will be a book soon! Check out Rock and Roll Baby Names on April 3rd.]
Adam
Prone to depression and raising unruly sons.
According to: Blink 182, Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen
Allison, Alison
Marries unhappily and prefers festive dresses, an excellent blues musician
According to: Pixies, Elvis Costello
Amy
Far out, fab, and insane, and God may shine through you to Ryan Adams. Tends to be late meeting people.
According to: Elton John, Ryan Adams, Britney Spears
Andy
Has a thong rind, but it’s the wrong kind. Doesn’t notice when summer ends. Also, is a star.
According to: Frank Zappa, Neko Case, The Killers
Anna, Ana
A heartbreaker with breezy charms. Also happens to be Frank Black’s fave.
According to: The Beatles, The Microphones, Pixies
Angela
A political prisoner who has the world’s attention, gives Nikki Sixx something to believe in.
According to: John Lennon, Motley Crue
Barbara
Warm and lovely, likes to rock and reel
According to: Frank Sinatra, The Beach Boys
Ben
A good friend, weird and wonderful, but never gets laid
According to: The Rapture, Michael Jackson, Elton John
Betty
Rock steady, and always ready, but has unruly children
According to: Ram Jam
Billy
A fugitive running from a string of murders or a straight-A student who develops PTSD.
According to: Bob Dylan, Lou Reed
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