Kirk Nugent
Inna Segal
John Updike
Ana Veciana-Suarez
Carol Lynn Pearson
2. The Office Photograph (aka “The Oh-I-didn’t-hear-you-enter-please-come-in-it’s-really-no-problem”)
Everyone likes seeing how art is made behind the scenes. This particular brand of promotional photograph provides the viewer with that indulgence. As you can see, some artists prefer the ascetic workplace, while others take the more cluttered approach. The overall concept, however, is usually not that revelatory nor interesting.
Malcolm Gladwell
Sharon L. Schultz (aka “Tillie”)
P.B. Kerr
Ayn Rand
Dan Fost
3. The Comfortable Photograph (aka “The Torso-twist-with-arm-resting-on-back-of-couch”)
It’s important to writers that readers understand they are just like them, and that they, too, enjoy the pleasures derived from sitting on a couch. Who wouldn’t trust someone who likes a good couch sitting now and then? This strategy may have worked in the 19th century, but modern readers are more than aware that an author’s ethical discernment and creative prowess have little to do with an author’s attitude toward a piece of furniture capable of accommodating three to four people.
Ann M. Martin
Garth Nix
John Grisham
J.K. Rowling
Marcel Proust
4. The Smoker Photograph (aka “The You-can’t-be-bad-ass-by-doing-what’s-good-for-you-and-your-children”)
Only rebels smoke, and only rebels have the courage to say what needs to be said in an oppressive society. So the writers who opt for The Smoker Photograph hope you believe. But if all writers are rebels, isn’t that a new kind of conformity? The paradigm has shifted.
Christopher Hitchens
Lynn Barber
Hunter S. Thompson
James Lever
Jean-Paul Sartre
5. The Hand-To-Face Photograph (aka “The Face-alone-is-boring-and-therefore-not-enough”)
A distant cousin to The Sophisticated Photograph, The Hand-To-Face Photograph is employed by authors who require that their entrees be accompanied with garnish. Their intent seems to be clear: a subtle flourish with the hand will set me apart from the rest. But as the record shows, this type of photograph only reinforces them as authors, and sets them apart from accountants, cashiers, marine biologists, and others who would never pose like this.
Salman Rushdie
Charlotte Rains Dixon
James Baldwin
Phyllis Johnson
Haruki Murakami
Dionne Brand
Oscar Wilde
Lucha Corpi
Toni Morrison
Bruce H. Edwards