What’s more irritating than the news that a 22-year-old has scored a book deal during these grim times for publishing? The news that said 22-year-old is one Nicole Polizzi, better known to the cable TV-watching masses as Snooki. Yup, she’s writing a friggin’ novel, and the working title is A Shore Thing. Her publishers at Simon and Schuster say the book will “revolve around a girl looking for love on the boardwalk (one full of big hair, dark tans, and fights galore).” That’s a relief, because we certainly don’t see enough of that in the sorta-real world of Jersey Shore.
Anyway, we could rant about this all day, or we could give you our list of 10 orange creatures more qualified to write a novel than Snooki. We assume you’ve already heard enough of the former, so you can find the latter after the jump.
1. Tony the Tiger
2. Michael Kors
3. An Oompa-Loompa
4. Garfield
5. Donatella Versace
6. Red from Fraggle Rock
7. Karl Lagerfeld
8. Winnie the Pooh
9. Nemo
10. Zoolander
