This is the time of year when, inevitably, there are just too many cooks in the kitchen. Whether it’s your cousin leaning over your shoulder and chiding you about the amount of salt in your potatoes or the hundreds of celebrities shouting about their home-cooked, organic, nutritious-yet-sinfully-tasty fare all over the internet, all the hubbub can be overwhelming. Here at Flavorwire, we get most of our advice from rap lyrics and the Muppets, so we turned to our beloved, slightly un-PC. Swedish Chef for pointers in the cooking department. As it turns out, most of his Thanksgiving lessons fall into the “what not to do” category. (Don’t, for example, shoot holes in biscuits and call them donuts.) After the jump, our favorite culinary tips from the Muppets.
1. When skewering a turkey, don’t let the turkey skewer you back.
2. Use tongs — not a musket — to prepare a salad.
3. If you make a mistake in the kitchen, you can always turn it into something else.
4. Winging it with measurements, unless you know what you’re doing, is often a bad idea
5. Avoid over-spicing
6. Be careful popping champagne corks.
7. Don’t flip — or sautée — anything too hard.
8. If your food offers you suggestions on how to cook it, ignore it. (And seek help.)
9. Avoid having too many guests in the kitchen.
10. If all else fails, play with your food.