Menu: The Booziest Thanksgiving of All Time

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Even for those of us who have great relationships with our family, Thanksgiving can be a rough time. First, there’s travel to worry about. Hosting and cooking can be a royal pain. And there’s always some other kind of miscellaneous disaster to contend with on top of the usual stuff. We all handle holiday stress differently, but for those (like SNL favorite Guy Fieri) who prefer to turn to drink, we’ve devised a booze-tastic four-course Thanksgiving dinner. That’s right: Every one of these recipes has liquor in it. Cook up these seasonal delights, keep a few bottles of wine on the table — and a flask of something stronger in your pocket — and you’ll be blissfully passed out in front of the football game in no time. Just do us a favor and wait a few hours before you try to drive home, will you?

Snacks:

Pumpkin-spiced whiskey walnuts

Port wine cheese spread with crackers

Beer-battered pigs in a blanket

First course:

Green salad with citrus-vodka vinaigrette

Butternut rum soup

Main course:

Bourbon turkey

Wildflower honey- and whiskey-glazed sweet potatoes

Beer mashed potatoes

Leek and wild mushroom stuffing (with white wine)

Cosmopolitan cranberry sauce

Whiskey-glazed Brussels sprouts

Dessert:

Pumpkin rum pie

Bourbon caramel apple pie

Plum gin ice cream

Bourbon balls

Bacardi rum cake

Float Loko