Dear Mr. McKay,
We finally got around to seeing your film Step Brothers (apologies, but we had to get through the Season One of Mad Men, a Sci Fi Channel miniseries called Tin Man, and a few rogue episodes of Big Love in our queue first). While we know there are plenty of beer-guzzling 20-somethings who will disagree with us based on the cult popularity of Anchorman and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, we’ve decided that you should stick to directing shorts.
This flick was not as Judd Apatow (who produced) claimed: “A demented version of The Parent Trap — with dick jokes.” That we might have enjoyed. Step Brothers was a drawn out skit with a truly stellar cast (Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen, and Richard Jenkins?! Come on!) that seemed to drag on and on. Were there moments when we laughed out loud? Sure. We love jokes involving John Stamos. Sometimes just looking at Ferrell can make us crack up.
In fact, this exchange was one of our favorite moments of your movie:
Dale Doback: Can we turn our beds into bunkbeds?
Brennan Huff: It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!
Dr. Robert Doback: Your adults, you can do what you want.
Dale Doback: This is the funnest night ever!
But “moments” is the key word here. We feel like you should have edited down all the funny parts of this into something that would have gone crazy viral after premiering on Funny or Die. We would have forwarded it to everyone we know. “But creating a short when I had that many famous actors on board would have been waste of talent,” you say. It’s going to take that kind of star power to ever get out of your daughter’s shadow, McKay. “But I needed time to set up the relationship between Dale and Brennan to make the viewer care,” you whine. We loved Pearl instantly. And we think it’s time to bring her out of retirement.
P.S. We can’t believe you spent $20,000 on Will Ferrell’s fake testicles. For shame.