Celebrity book deals practically exist to piss us off. While there are certainly exceptions to the rule (such as the recent, glowingly reviewed tomes by Jay-Z and Steve Martin, as well as Patti Smith’s National Book Award-winning memoir), most stars just aren’t writers. And few things are more annoying — especially for those of us who write for a living, or have aspirations of doing so — than the news that a functionally illiterate reality TV star is preparing to “write” a memoir, children’s book, or novel. After the jump, we take a look at the year’s most irritating examples, from the Salahis to Snooki.
Curious about what Boyle, who rose to fame as the frumpy 47-year-old virgin with a beautiful voice, has been doing all her life? We aren’t, but that didn’t stop British publisher Transworld from handing the singer a deal to write the memoir The Woman I Was Born to Be about the making of an unlikely diva. As she said in a statement, “When I strutted on to the stage for that audition, I was a scared wee lassie, still grieving for my mother, not caring how I looked. I think I’ve grown up a lot in the last year, become more of a lady, and I’m not so frightened anymore.” Okay, we stopped reading after “wee lassie,” but — “wee lassie”! There is someone in the world who actually talks like this! Sold.