Christmas time is here again, time for laughter, time for gin. If only that were how the lyrics to that song actually went, the holidays would be a lot more merry. At any rate, as you have no doubt already become aware, Christmas brings with it many obligations to buy gifts. And all that shopping brings you into close contact with any number of classic, terrible Christmas songs. But is “Wonderful Christmas Time” really as awful as it seems? Here at Flavorpill, we have taken it upon ourselves to find ten holiday albums so terrible they’ll make you appreciate “Last Christmas” for the gem that it truly is — at least, by comparison.
Keith Sweat — A Christmas of Love
There is almost nothing more uncomfortable than an overtly sexy Christmas. Sure, who doesn’t get drunk at the company party and maybe French someone they shouldn’t? But when your lead single is about getting it on like Santa Claus would, you are in trouble. Christmastime is the time for love. Not sexual harassment. When your second single starts “One, two, three, and to the four/Christmastime and we down for sure,” followed by, “Let’s have a party baby ‘cos it’s Christmastime,” then you know you have not written something that will play in department stores over the holidays. Keith Sweat is awesome, but he couldn’t find a classic Christmas jam if Dr. Luke wrote it for him and put Ke$ha on the chorus. He is simply too sexy for Christ.