If the New York Observer is right, and Glee is poised to become the TV hit of the spring, then we might just turn off network TV until next fall. Chuck, Heroes and 30 Rock will be wrapped up by then, Life on Mars will be dunzo, and we still need to start from the beginning with Friday Night Lights on DVD.

We’re not against trying new things as a rule, so what is it about this FOX series that’s gotten stuck in our craw? Full disclosure: We’ve been annoyed by the mere idea of this show since we first read about it in Variety. Our list of reasons why Glee will fail (in spite of what the NYO’s Christopher Rosen hopes) and a look at the trailer, after the jump.

1. “What separates Glee from every other teen show in the history of teen shows is that the cast members sing actual pop songs, from Katy Perry to Journey — think The Breakfast Club meets Moulin Rouge.”
From what we’ve seen this looks more like Popular (low production value) meets Hamlet 2 (strange musical theater teens singing). Note: neither one of those fared very well with audiences, and we think some chick singing “Hot n Cold” is only going to make matters worse.

2. “The cast is filled with a mix of actual Broadway stars and character actors: Matthew Morrison of Hairspray is the teacher; Spring Awakening’s Lea Michele co-stars as the beautiful/annoying outcast/perfectionist…”
We know this is separates us from the majority of people, but we hated Spring Awakening — to the point where we had to leave at intermission. It was like human growth and development class, but with songs. And yes, Morrison played Link Larkin Hairspray, but he also starred in the Footloose musical and that short-lived revival of the Rocky Horror Show. Not exactly a solid track record.

3. “For starters, Mr. Murphy is pretty much a hack. Nip/Tuck is an unwatchable mess, and his only foray into feature filmmaking was the derisible adaptation of Running with Scissors.”
No arguments there. Thanks, Rosen.

4. “Meanwhile, it remains to be seen if television audiences are willing to accept a musical series — judging from the reactions to Viva Laughlin and Cop Rock, we’re guessing they aren’t.”
Seriously. If a “mystery drama musical about businessman Ripley Holden, whose ambition is to run a casino in Laughlin, Nevada” couldn’t rake in the big bucks for CBS, and the cop musical tanked on ABC, what makes FOX think they’ve stumbled upon the magic formula? The only show we’ve ever seen that came close to being successful at this was Kids Incorporated, and just think of all the horror that has unleashed upon the world. (Cough, cough… Jennifer Love Hewitt.)

5. “Rather than premiere a short run of episodes during the overcrowded next two months, Fox has shrewdly decided Glee stands a better chance at being successful if the pilot airs in the post-American Idol finale timeslot on May 19th.”
This is bound to create some great expectations for Idol fans coming down off that finale high. And oddly enough, while both shows center around music, we’re not sure there’s a lot of overlap in their respective audiences.

But we’re not psychics, Glee might be an overnight success just to spite us as a reminder of the fact we weren’t picked for 9th grade chorus. Watch the trailer below and weigh in with a review in the comments.