We recently stumbled upon an amazing list compiled by the always insightful Towering Irrelevance: 25 different words that Herman Melville uses to describe beards in two chapters of White Jacket , his 1850 novel based on his experience crewing on a US frigate in the South Seas for ten years. We all know what happens to men’s facial hair when they’re aboard a boat for too long. It gets a little crazy — unless they’re aboard the Black Pearl, of course, and then they’re Orlando Bloom and their sketchy goatee is always perfect. Click through for Melville’s list — and a few of our 30-second sketches of what he might have meant.
Melville’s Beards:
the crop
suburbs of the chin
homeward-bounders
fly-brushes
long, trailing moss hanging from the bough of some aged oak
love-curls
Winnebago locks
carroty bunches
rebellious bristles
redundant mops
yellow bamboos
long whiskers
thrice-noble beards
plantations of hair
whiskerandoes
nodding harvests
viny locks
the fleece
fine tassels
goatees
imperials
sacred things
admiral’s pennant
manhood
muzzle-lashings
Are you a New Yorker who loves beards? Check out The 2011 Brooklyn Beardfest and Stache Bash on January 31st at Union Hall.