The 6 Most Annoying Parts of NYT’s 36 Hours In Brooklyn

The New York Times has, it seems, finally admitted (if implicitly) their completely pussy-footed outsiderism when it comes to Brooklyn. This week, their popular 36 Hours travel feature, which has recently covered cities such as Santiago, Lisbon, Valencia, Santa Cruz, and Marrakesh, has turned its gaze on Brooklyn, the borough the NYT loves to awkwardly love. Though they did make some good (if obvious) choices for a hypothetical weekend across the river (Tom’s Restaurant, the Brooklyn Museum and the Botanical Garden) they also left out some serious (and also obvious) draws (the Brooklyn Flea, Roberta’s, the whole of Red Hook). But we know they had to make choices, and not everyone can hang around in Brooklyn forever. However, we imagine that certain parts of the article could be a little obnoxious to Brooklyn natives, as, true to NYT fashion, they kind of miss the mark when it comes to talking about their other half. Click through for the 6 most annoying parts of their 36 Hours in Brooklyn, and our indignant rebuttals.

6. “Three places to hear bands are Union Pool in Williamsburg; Brooklyn Bowl, also there; and Southpaw, in Park Slope.”

This is true. However, for the real Brooklyn experience, we’d also suggest you try Glasslands or Bruar Falls or Pete’s Candy Store or Public Assembly or The Rock Shop or a million other interesting spots. Actually, though, we might like to see a NYT reporter get drunk at Union Pool and end up making out with a guy with facial piercings in the photo booth. We might like that. And she might like it too.

5. The article’s tagline: “No need to gaze longingly at Manhattan when the action is all around you.”

Um, we’re not?

4. You are advised to eat at “Buttermilk Channel, where you can get local cheeses and pastas and a superlative duck meatloaf. Ten minutes before the end of your meal, have the host call for a car.”

Oh, really, should you? The F is about three blocks away. And contrary to the Times‘ gentle suggestions to the contrary, there are tons of cabs on Court Street, especially in the dinner hours. It’s still a major street, even though it’s in Brooklyn.

3. “7) A VISIT TO HIPCHESTER”

Really? We have nothing to say.

2. “Those enamored of the Williamsburg scene may stay in the neighborhood for a smoky dinner at Fatty ’Cue, Zak Pelaccio’s antic and awesome Southeast Asian barbecue joint.” If not, you can go to a “slightly more adult-themed” place in Greenpoint.

Yes, NYT, we know. You’ve told us that  Fatty ‘Cue “looks like a biker bar for the kind of bikers who don’t ride Harleys in leathers and boots, but stripped-down Schwinns in boat shoes and skinny jeans”, and it’s “packed with people in beards or vintage dresses.” Scary! Juvenile! If you can’t handle it, you can go to a grown-up restaurant away from the hipsters! Not that the food ain’t good there — we feel you. But how about some dirtier BBQ at Fette Sau? That’s our pick.

1. “Fort Greene abounds in bars suitable for a late-evening drink. A cocktail at the minimalist and homey No. 7, is no risk. Those seeking rougher charms can venture to the Alibi, where there are cheap drinks, a pool table and a crowd that runs equal parts artist and laborer.”

It’s true that No. 7 is no risk (and often no reward, although we have had good times there). But, “those seeking rougher charms” should go to a bar that’s “equal parts artist and laborer”? Do people still say “laborer”? What does that mean, exactly? Is the New York Times trying to tell us that only bars full of upper-middle class people are safe? If that’s what you think, go to Connecticut or something. They have nice quiet white bread bars there, too.