According to the NY Post, when Lady Gaga was asked who she would want to play her in a hypothetical movie about her life story, she responded, “I’ve always been a big fan of Rosario Dawson. Oh, you know what, I would have Marisa Tomei play me. I am such a Marisa Tomei fan. All my friends call me Marisa when I get angry. Because my New York accent just flies out of my body and I start smacking my gum.” Well, even setting aside the fact that Rosario Dawson’s Puerto Rican and Afro-Cuban descent would, um, kind of change the story and that Marisa Tomei is 22 years older than Lady Gaga, we don’t think these are remotely appropriate choices. This is why Lady Gaga will have an agent to help her decide who should play her in the movie. And also, she’ll have, you know, us. Click through for our picks for the best actresses to play Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, AKA Lady Gaga, in the movie of her life.
5. Chloe Sevigny
Yeah, we know Chloe’s probably too classy-hipster to ever take a role as Gaga. But she did do that one thing that one time! That was dirtiness-for-art. So maybe? We admit, we basically want her to be in everything, so we can’t help putting her on this list. She’s weird! She’s fashion! She’d turn Lady Gaga into a star.
4. Lizzy Caplan
Just like Gaga, she started off in the public eye as obviously talented, but kind of weird, and then suddenly got really hot. True, she’s Jewish, but that’s basically the same as Italian, right? At least in terms of general bone structure. But more importantly, the girl is hilarious, and we think she’d bring just the right level of simmering irony to the role while still knocking it out of the park.
3. Gwen Stefani
Gwen Stefani is already sort of a half-speed, ’90s jock version of the early Lady Gaga, with her wild fashion choices (remember the blue hair? We’d never be shocked by that now) and doll-like, one-eye-winking music videos. She has the athleticism and cocky demeanor to play a Gaga, as well as, it seems, a bunch of guys always hanging around ready to do her bidding. Though she’s just past 40, girl don’t look it, and we’d love to see her do something crazy with that bod before she disappears into the fashion world completely.
2. Christina Aguilera
Sure, there was that overblown fake X-stina/Gaga feud. But more importantly, Christina has the flair for the dramatic and the chameleon-like ability for ever-changing personas needed to successfully play the wildest and most mutable singer on the stage these days. She can also sing, which will help. Plus, they both look stellar in ice blond bangs.
1. Megan Fox
Megan Fox, like Gaga, has that air of dirtiness about her, and even a hint of evil in the eyes. It’s like, even though she’s super sexy, you’d always been half-scared she’d bite you at any moment. And we’re sure Fox would jump on the chance to dress up in super sexy, pants-less outfits and act like the queen of the world — she’s basically on her way to doing that anyway. But better get her on payroll soon — she may get snapped up by the team making a hypothetical movie about Angelina Jolie’s life. There just aren’t enough bad girls to go around these days. Jury’s still out on whether Fox has the acting chops to play someone like Gaga, but just imagine — Megan Fox blonde! So worth it.